The talking stage is a shady pre-relationship stage where you and your potential partner engage in a delightful mix of flirting, banter, and deep conversations while secretly wondering, “What are we?” But how do you know if things are progressing? ? We’ve got you covered.

To understand the rules of the conversation stage, we spoke to Dr. Shefali Batra, MD, a California psychiatrist and cognitive behavioral therapist who specializes in counseling on separation and divorce, breakups and dating, and premarital compatibility issues. In this article, we’ll discuss the signs that the conversation phase is going well so you know whether to keep texting or looking for another date.

15 signs that the conversation phase is going well – green flags you can’t miss

Dr. Batra describes the talking stage as “a mix of flirting, fun, and maybe a little nervousness as you both get through this early stage of connection. You find yourselves swapping stories, sharing inside jokes, and figuring out your conversations Is it more than just the occasional text exchange?” But how do you know if things are actually going well? Are sparks flying, or are you stuck in the friend zone? If you want to know if your conversation is pointing to real content, look for these 15 signs that the conversation stage is going well.

conversation phase rules — conversation stage

1. You talk about it every day, not just the weather

They know what you had for breakfast and somehow you’re invested in their dog’s vet appointment. Conversations are no longer superficial. You are exchanging the details of your daily life and it feels natural. These are signs that the conversation phase is going well, as you both have moved from small talk to more meaningful exchanges.

2. Their responses are lightning fast

There is no “seen” purgatory here. Sometimes, they even repeat words. You are so funny. If you notice them responding within a few minutes, even to generic conversation-stage questions asked of boys or girls, Dr. Batra thinks that’s a good sign. “It means they’re genuinely interested and engaged in the conversation. When you’re talking every day and their texts come in almost immediately, that’s one of the major green flags of the conversation stage.”

Related reading: How to Deal with Rejection from a Crush: 11 Steps to Moving On

3. You start telling inside jokes

Remember that time they accidentally called themselves “cat bread” instead of cat lovers? Now every loaf of bread is a private joke. Dr. Batra shares, “Inside jokes are a great way to deepen your connection. They show that you’ve spent enough time together to form your unique bond.”

4. They remember details

Like that embarrassing school story you mentioned in passing or your irrational fear of earthworms. When the girl or boy you’re talking to remembers these little things, it’s a strong sign that they care. If they recall little details, that’s one of those green flags during the conversation stage that they’re paying attention to you.

5. They send goodnight texts

Talk stage green flag — Good night text messages are a good sign

Dr. Batra shares: “In the early stages of dating, a simple ‘good night’ text can mean a lot. It’s a thoughtful gesture that shows they’re thinking of you before bed and wants to end the day on a positive note. .” Bonus: They won’t forget the emoji to match their mood.

6. They playfully tease you

If they criticize you for your weird love of ketchup, that’s flirting, not judging. Fun teasing is a great way to build rapport and keep things lighthearted. This is also a chance for you to show a little vulnerability to each other, which is key in the early stages of dating.

7. Memes flying back and forth

You’re quite literally a comedy duo, making fun of each other with GIFs. Sharing memes or funny videos is one of the most fun ways to strengthen your relationship. This shows that you can have fun together without taking things too seriously. “It’s always a good sign when you both share the same sense of humor,” says Dr. Batra.

Related reading: How to text a girl for the first time: 15 tips and 75 examples

8. You can talk about anything

Your conversations aren’t limited to asking general conversation stage questions about boys or girls. From conspiracy theories to your love of ’90s boy bands, it’s all fair game. The conversation stage is about exploring common interests, and if you can talk freely about anything and everything, it’s a sign of emotional comfort. The more topics you can cover, the better your connections will be.

9. Future plans are in the works

“We should go see that movie!” is no longer hypothetical—but fake excitement. This shows that the girl or guy you’re talking to sees more potential. When future plans start to emerge, even in casual conversations, it shows that you’re both interested in seeing where things go.

Signs that the conversation phase is going well — Talking station green flag

10. You share your days

They know about your annoying coworkers, and you know about their pursuit of the perfect latte every day. “Sharing the mundane details of your life helps build intimacy,” says Dr. Batra. “When you feel comfortable talking about your daily struggles or triumphs, you grow closer.”

11.You use a nickname

Whether it’s “weird” or “coffee addict,” these names are as affectionate as they are hilarious. This is a sign that you’re starting to feel comfortable enough to be a little silly with each other.

“Nicknames are a cute and fun way to make each other feel special. – Dr. Shefali Batra, Psychologist”

12. You are willing to disagree

Is there pineapple on pizza? No. But somehow, instead of arguing, you’re laughing. Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship, and how you handle them is a sign of emotional maturity. If you can laugh off minor differences, you’re on the right track. This is also a great early learning lesson in conflict resolution.

13. They check in randomly

A brief “How was your day?” at 3pm feels like a virtual hug. This is one of the most reassuring signs that the conversation phase is going well. This shows that they are thinking about you even if you are not talking, which is a good indicator of interest.

14. Praise is sincere

Dr. Batra shares, “Genuine compliments that go beyond appearance show that you are connected on a deeper level. It’s not about flattery; it’s about flattery. It’s about getting to know each other’s personalities.” These compliments can look like this:

“I love your taste in movies!”
“You look beautiful in purple, it’s definitely your color.”
That pasta looks delicious, I would love to try your cooking one day

15. You feel like you’ve known them for a long time

The connection is so natural that it’s eerie. It feels effortless, like every time you speak you can pick up where you left off. According to Dr. Batra, this is one of the best signs that the conversation phase is going well and a deeper connection may be formed.

FAQ

1. What is the conversation stage?

The conversation stage is the budding stage of the relationship, where you get to know each other but don’t officially put a label on the relationship. It’s characterized by casual flirting, deep conversations, and figuring out compatibility before committing.

2. How long should the conversation phase last?

While there are no set rules for the conversation phase, ideally it should not last too long, but should be long enough to gauge whether you are truly compatible. If it’s been more than three months without a Define the Relationship (DTR) conversation, it’s time to take stock of how things are going.

This Reddit user shared their preference, “I have a 90 day rule where I will probably talk to one person specifically within the 90 days because that’s how I do things, but on the 90th day without any kind of commitment, I Reopening my black book, getting new numbers, screening old numbers, reposting my profile, etc., but what I won’t do is talk about it without getting anywhere.”

3. Should I speak every day during the speaking stage?

While daily communication is a sign of interest, it’s important not to make it feel like an obligation. If you’re happy talking to them every day without feeling overwhelmed, you’re probably in a good space. Just be careful not to let the pressure of constant texting overshadow the fun and spontaneity of getting to know each other.

Main points

During the conversation phase, regular, stress-free, engaging conversation is essential. Speaking every day is important, but it should feel natural, not an obligation
Signs like inside jokes, remembering small details, and sincere compliments are signs that emotional comfort is building
Healthy teasing and playful communication are key to creating a fun, relaxing atmosphere
When you start discussing future plans—whether it’s dating or traveling—it’s a clear sign that you’re both interested in seeing how the relationship can grow beyond just casual chatting.
The ability to disagree, laugh it off, and respect each other’s opinions is crucial to long-term compatibility. The conversation phase isn’t just for fun, it’s also to assess your ability to handle disagreements

final thoughts

The conversation phase is all about getting to know each other in a fun, low-pressure way. If you notice these signs, then it’s likely that the conversation phase is going well and you’re both genuinely interested in seeing where things go. Remember, the rules for the conversation phase vary from person to person, but clear communication, honesty, and respect are always key. Enjoy the journey and see where it leads!

How to Tell Someone You Just Want to Be Friends: 15 Examples

How to Make Him Obsessed with You: 21 Smart Tips

How to Get Over a Crush: 17 Psychological Tips

Your donation does not constitute a charitable donation. It will allow Bonobology to continue to bring you new and up-to-date information to help anyone in the world learn how to do anything.

Share feedback

What’s your feedback?

Ask our experts

You must be logged in to ask a question.

15 Delightful Signs The Conversation Stage Is Going Well

15 signs that the conversation phase is going well – green flags you can’t miss