Why are monogamous people so afraid of non-marriage?

When the topic of non-monogamy appears, there is a special anxiety that addresses many monogamy people. It was almost a primitive reaction, as if merely acknowledging its existence might spread its own relationship like a jenga tower and remove all the load-bearing fragments. Frankly speaking, many monogamy’s hostile attitudes toward non-marriage are disproportionate and a little ridiculous.

This fear and hatred of the masquerade is caring, morally even pitiful. “It will never be used,“They say the eyes are filled with smug certainty that is usually reserved, which is usually for those who have read a piece about Domay (usually a horror story about a person who tries to date three people at a time and is stabbed by everyone). Others take the tone of a wise old man: “This is just a stage. Ultimately, you’ll want something real.The subtext is clear: non-monogamous relationships are not legal, or at least, they are not as legal as their neat, neat, legally approved opponents. This is a strange belief, given the divorce statistics show that monogamous people are not totally winning in the lifespan game either.

Monogamous people defend their structures almost evangelical enthusiasm. It seems that non-monogamy is a moral contagion that can subvert the exquisite social structure of romantic life. But it’s the truth: if monogamy is so stable and so natural, then naturally the best way to love, why do you need to defend in such a passionate way? Of course, there is something like this Tyck that doesn’t need to just mention the alternative relationship model to blister in the mouth traditionalist. Yet, time and time again, we see monogamous people reacting as if the multiple carvings next door will cause their marriage to collapse immediately, their children fall into anarchy, and their dogs forget how to sit on the command.

At the heart of this hysteria is a deep and often uncensored sense of insecurity. Monogamous relations, often vulnerable to all their cultural dominance. This is not condemnation; it is just the reality of interpersonal relationships. But rather than admitting monogamy has its own pitfalls, many would rather pretend that the entire house of cards is held high by divine missions. If people can have real, true, profound, sustainable happiness in relationships that do not meet the standard life model, then monogamy will not be revealed as a true way, but rather as an option. As we all know, choice is frightening. If there is more than one way to achieve, then everyone in a monogamous relationship must consider that the possibility of their decision is not inevitable but shaped by conditions.

This explains the knee assumption that non-monogamous people must lie to themselves, their partners, or both. The person who believes that someone can love in an essentially chaotic or doomed way can love, desire and promise. It is better to insist that non-uniform adults are delusional, their relationship is full of jealousy and deception, and this is heartbroken. But, honestly, if every non-monogamous relationship tomorrow fails, then monogamous will not be stronger. This doesn’t mean that monogamous relationships are healthier in nature, it’s just that some people try something different and don’t work for them. The reality is that each relationship structure has its own difficulties, and monogamy is not the grand exception it claims.

Even non-monogamous language is full of undercurrents of contempt. People in polygamous or open interpersonal relationships “play with fire”, “try to eat cakes too”, and “live in fantasy”. If the non-integrity partnership ends, the inherent flaws of the model are proved. If a monogamous relationship ends, it is what happens sometimes. The double standard is exhausting and unwilling to admit it is intellectual dishonesty.

The most confusing aspect of the hostile attitude towards non-marriage may actually affect monogamous people. The existence of non-uniform relations does not change the basic mechanics of monogamy. No one came to confiscate wedding rings or issue mandatory multi-room permits. There is no dark cabal that makes monogamy illegal. However, the fact that the fact that others live alone exudes panic in the monogamous world, as if the pure existence of the alternative is a personal attack.

This is especially ironic given that monogamous people insert non-monogamous conversations. They are eager to fire, criticize and invalidate, even if they insist that they have no personal shares. “I can never do it.” They claimed it seemed as if someone had expanded the invitation in person. Imagine wandering around the restaurant, standing on a chair, and announcing: “I can never eat a plate of oysters“Although people who like oysters just keep eating. This is the degree of ridiculousness we have to deal with.

The truth is that if more people embrace non-marriage, then the world won’t end, and if monogamy is still the default choice, it won’t end either. But if a monogamous person can untie it Just a littlecan take a deep breath and realize that other people’s relationship structures don’t threaten ourselves, and we all may be better off. Have enough love, commitment and joy. And, if this idea is painful, then the real problem may not be monogamy at all, it is the belief that monogamy is the only effective way to love.

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