What your most popular Konbini drinks say about you

The quintessential Shibuya meltdown, slumping onto Tokyo’s desolate concrete floor after one (or five) too many drinks, is often fueled by one evil source: convenience drinks. Buying your first bottle of wine at Family Mart always feels like a good idea. It’s cheap, convenient, and honestly tastes pretty good. However, when you wake up the next morning with a splitting headache, you can’t help but wonder what exactly they put in that mysterious jar that came out. Under 200 yen.

Whether you’re sipping a craft beer on the way home from get off work or quaffing 9% ABV chuhai We all bonded over konbini drinks before going to the club. Find out what your favorite drinks say about you. Continue reading for yourself Take risks and drink responsibly.

Qilin Xiaojie

Hyoketsu, whose name means “frozen” because Kirin uses some mysterious “freezing technology” to extract the natural juice, markets it as the classic chuhai (shochu highball). But get this, Hyoketsu (and most canned chuhai on the market) is actually not chuhai at all, but flavored vodka soda. With relatively low calories and a solid 5% alcohol content, Hyoketsu is more like the Japanese White Claw (sorry, White Claw is the American Hyoketsu).

If this fake chuhai is your go-to convenience drink, then your motto is “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” You know what works for you and you stick with it, but you also don’t take the risk to actually try something exciting.

lemon beans

Since its launch in the summer of 2018, Lemon-dou Citric Acid has quickly risen through the convenience beverage ranks and become a staple. This is understandable. Coca-Cola’s first citric acid brand had a sour, lemony taste that was closer to the fresh citric acid from an izakaya.

Still, holding a navy blue jug in your hand doesn’t make you any less of a street drinker. Also, you can say that it “doesn’t compare to other citric acids” and that you “don’t like girly sweet drinks,” but it doesn’t make you sophisticated.

strong zero

You know you’re going to get yelled at, right? If you’re a college kid on a budget who wants to get drunk, or a tourist who’s been told “you have to try this once” I’ll give you a pass. If you’re an adult and still have a “Strong Zero” goal, it might be time to get treatment.

A big jar of the stuff might get you high quickly, but is it worth the price you’ll have to pay the next day? When will you know you can’t handle hangovers the way you used to? If you feel lonely and need to fill the void inside, call a friend.

Faroi

We get it, you’re dignified and adorable. What does it mean that one can of Horooyi can make you drunk? grow up. At 3% alcohol, Horooyoi is a lightweight’s best friend, but honestly, just drink juice at this point.

You don’t need to drink to enjoy the boozy atmosphere. Believe me. If people make fun of you for not drinking, find better friends. At least you’re not holding a silly little pink jar that says “3%” on it.

beer

Surprisingly, this is probably the most civilized drink on the list. If you buy beer at a convenience store, you might also buy some Ohsumi Paired with snacks, you just want to treat yourself. You’re a bit of an old soul and your ideal night out consists of greasy food, a cold Asahi beer, watching your favorite show or playing a round of poker with some friends.

You probably have a favorite brand that you pursue all the time. Just don’t be the one to make a fuss when someone likes a different brand. No one likes that guy.

Sake by the glass

This is probably the least civilized drink on the list. There’s always something ominous about a cup of Ozeki or a box of Onikoroshi. If you keep working hard, I have reason to believe them The problem is you.

Are there any situations so dire that you need to seize Japan State From a convenience store? Remind me to stay away from you.

Chantail sparkling wine

Or any canned wine available at convenience stores. I understand that sometimes, you just want a drink and nothing else will satisfy you. But if you were such a wine lover, wouldn’t you be more honest about the quality of your wine?

Maybe I’m being too harsh. Convenience store wine selections are certainly good, but some elements of elegance are lost in the pursuit of the ultimate convenience of canned wine with a screw top.

lob

Highballs are so popular in Japan that you can get them pre-mixed in cans at convenience stores. If you choose to drink tall drinks, you’re probably a very casual drinker who can tap the can without batting an eye.

You’ll feel right at home in Tokyo because the drinking culture is so ingrained here that no one will tell you you’ve had your fifth drink in an hour. But that’s okay, because a highball cup is mostly soda, so you stay “hydrated.”

Smirnoff Ice

There is always a Smirnoff ice drink in the corner of the alcohol section of the convenience store. I can’t quite tell you why, and I don’t understand what the point of this glorified lemonade is other than to “sugar coat” someone.

If it’s your drink of choice at the convenience store, then you’re either stuck in 2010, or you’re a lightweight who wants to keep a cool bottle in your hand to relieve the terrible social anxiety that plagues you .

Some viral drink hacks

Hello, always online! You proudly show your friends how to pour Malibu into a 7-Eleven smoothie, and you love their reactions every time.

You’re good at making the best of a situation, just like a millennial enjoying overpriced avocado toast or an office worker sprucing up their desk space. I’m not going to roast you because, well, you need this.

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