What this means and how they find themselves “gray”

They are not gay- they are “gray”.

The surprising crowd chose to identify it as “grey”, and now many share the moment they realize they are “grey”.

Grey sex exists between what many call “grey areas”, which is gay-experienced regular sexual attraction and asexuals-not experience. Those identified as gray sex may have few, inconsistent, or only felt sexual attraction in specific situations.

REDDIT users have posted their experiences with dating and intimate experiences in R/Graysexuality Subreddit (a growing online community of over 8,300 members).

In a post, user @the_archer2121 explained that most of their lives assumed that they were just a “late bloom”. Crushing is “decades of separation” that rarely lasts for a long time, often without sexual attraction, even with their boyfriends.

As Dan Beeson, a gray sex man from London, said to the UK Metropolitan: “Gray sex…not’ I just don’t like it tonight.

He added: “I’ve always realized that my sexual motivation isn’t as normal as other people, but I just attribute it to my relationship with my sexuality. It may still be true, but it’s found that other people feel similarly, with at least one community reassuring.”

Others have similar stories online.

One user said they felt “real” sexual attraction only once in their lifetime, explaining: “When I see an attractive person, I don’t have that kind of ‘I’ll hit “inside feeling.” I just want to get close to them.”

Another recalls the pressure of being forced to make sexual attempts in college, confused as to why their peers seem to experience desire so often. “End of getting married (not a good life choice), things didn’t go well in the sex department.”

“I’m often ridiculed and pressured to do things I don’t want to do.”

The mismatch of gender expectations ultimately led the person to discover grey sex through the online community.

One writes that their attraction only “opens” every few months, which makes them trigger the trigger between identifying as homosexual and asexual until they find a gray sense of sex and peace.

Interest in grey sex is growing rapidly, especially in Gen Z.

Videos exploring the term are gaining thousands of views on platforms like Tiktok and YouTube. Creators like Podcaster Mark (@NotDefining) helped with the nuance of the identity, calling it “a bit attractive…but at a low level.”

Many people believe that gray people do not want romantic relationships or are just suppressed. But, as psychotherapist Jane Czyzselka explains: “In queer and wider culture, it can be difficult to confidently have a sexual act that acknowledges desires in different ways.”

She encourages those who explore labels to reflect on which contexts or suppress desires and trust their changing boundaries. “No one should tell you who you should be or who you are,” she said.

The term Grayxual first appeared on the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) in 2006, and since then, it has been an important identity for those who have never been fully fit for sexual or asexual binary. Some people who identify as gray may also be associated with terms such as Dimesxual (only after a strong emotional bond – sexual attraction) with strange or pansexual.

As one Reddit user summed up: “It’s frustrated by the sheer chaos in this regard…it’s a relief to finally have a message about how I feel.”

In what researchers call “sexual decline,” identities such as Graysexuality have risen—the younger generation reports fewer sexual partners and less interest in gender.

But experts like writer Carter Sherman think this is more subtle, involving social media stress, body image issues and political anxiety rather than simply lacking desire.