What is couples therapy?

Even the best relationships take work, but having the right tools makes it easier and more rewarding. Couples therapy is one of the most valuable tools for improving relationships.

There can be a lot of stigma surrounding couples therapy and therapy in general Can stop people looking for someone who might benefit from additional guidance and clarity. Most people think that couples therapy is only for those who are facing serious problems in their relationship.

While it may help resolve serious disorders, there are several reasons why partners rely on couples therapy as routine maintenance.

What Couples Therapy Can Solve

Couples therapy can be helpful to anyone in a relationship or partnership. There is no “right” age or stage for it.

Many couples attend therapy together. Although it varies by country and culture, according to a study of 1,000 couples, 49% Say they attended some form of counseling with their spouse.

People may enter therapy before getting married, before having children, when experiencing a significant loss or change, when infidelity occurs in a relationship, when relationship dynamics change, or for other reasons.

You also don’t need a reason to start couples therapy. The desire to strengthen your relationship and learn new communication tools is enough.

Here are some other statistics for couples therapy:

• 55% of couples receive treatment for six months or less
• The highest proportion of couples who have been married for 3 to 5 years in marriage counseling
• Couples often wait six years after problems arise before finally seeing a counselor, according to relationship and marriage expert Dr. John Gottman
• About 52% of people who have tried some form of marriage counseling are open to it
• Millennials are the most common demographic to attend couples therapy (51%)
• The most common age for attending couples therapy is 25-50
• Since the 1980s, the success rate of couples therapy has increased from 50% to 75% due to changes in the model

Here are the most common reasons people go to couples therapy:

intimacy issues

For most people, sex is an integral part of a relationship. When intimacy disappears or is non-existent, it can put a strain on other parts of the relationship.

According to the publication in Journal of Sex and Marital Therapythe most common reason participants cited for their recent divorce (47%) was a lack of intimacy or love.

For many couples, this means sex, either not happening or not having satisfying sex, but it also includes general acts of intimacy like hugging, kissing for the sake of kissing, and active listening.

While there may be psychological barriers to solving this problem, one way to spice up your sex life is to use a new sex drive or sex toy. Some of the top sex toys for couples are thor 3 happy ring,​​Hugo No. 2 prostate massager, and Tiny No. 3 Remote controlled vibrator for couples.

financial differences

Money can cause divisions in a relationship, especially if you’re facing financial difficulties or you have different attitudes about finances and how to manage them (how much you earn, emergency savings, spending habits, retirement, etc.).

Romantic relationships often mean sharing finances or sharing substantial expenses. Financial insecurity can also trigger and bring a lot of anxiety and anger. Therapy can help couples understand their partner’s relationship with money and give them practical tools for how to manage money together.

Financial disparities are more common among older adults who may be retiring, facing more (costly) health problems and figuring out how to balance expenses while working less or not at all.

Fading away

As life progresses and goes through big changes, it’s not uncommon for couples to grow apart.

When life gets busy and you become co-existing, you may lose that spark, intimacy, and connection. There may not be outright conflict, but more of an avoidance—avoidance of seeking intimacy, avoidance of having difficult conversations, avoidance of doing what needs to be done to grow together rather than apart.

This tends to be more common in relationships where people have been together for a long time and are now retired and/or empty nesters.

Is Couples Therapy Right for You?

In addition to the above, here are some of the most common couples problems:

• Major life changes, such as illness or the departure of all the children
• different parenting styles
• Hurtful and unhelpful arguments
• disloyal

There is no right reason for you to want to go to couples therapy, and you don’t need a reason at all. If you feel like you and your partner could benefit from a neutral party to help organize your thoughts, or want to learn more communication tools to deepen your relationship, therapy is a good option.

Know that, like finding a romantic partner, finding the right therapist takes time. It is an intimate relationship where you trust your therapist to work with very personal parts of your life.

Online catalogs such as psychology today (available in many countries) can help you narrow down providers based on your specific needs and other criteria, such as insurance providers. See if you can get a free consultation before paying. Remember, you are paying for a service, and if that service isn’t right for you, you have every right to choose an option that works better for you.

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