What if February was all about loving your body?

The start of a new year often brings a wave of new goals, resets, and promises to “fix” everything—especially our bodies. Health can quickly feel like a checklist, and improvements are often viewed as urgent and corrective, as if our bodies are a problem to be solved rather than a support system. By February, this intensity can leave many of us feeling exhausted, discouraged, or disconnected from our bodies. This is why we want to explore self-love.

Psychologist and behavioral science expert Daria Zalivnova explains why this happens:

“The ‘fix’ mentality treats the body as a problem to be solved—a project. This immediately creates an adversarial relationship: you are the vigilant manager, and your body is the unreliable employee in need of constant correction. Psychologically, this creates a dynamic of distrust and surveillance. We stop listening to the body’s signals—hunger, fatigue, happiness—and start regulating them according to external standards. The body becomes ‘it’ rather than part of ‘me.'”

During this time, many set goals that were unsustainable or rooted in self-criticism: eat less, train harder, be more disciplined. At the beginning of the year, this intense motivation can feel motivating, but as February rolls around, that same motivation can feel draining, leaving us dysregulated and depressed.

What if February, instead of trying to change our bodies, loved our bodies for what they are?

What “Love Your Body” Really Means (And Where It Starts)

This has nothing to do with self-love or forced positivity based on appearance. It’s about rebuilding a sense of trust, safety, and communication with your body after months or years of pushing and criticizing yourself. This is a shift from control to care and communication.

Instead of asking, “How can I get my body to perform well?” Start asking, “What does my body need right now to feel safe?”

Your nervous system plays a big role in how you treat your body and, more specifically, how you set unsustainable goals. “Radical goals stem from a desire for immediate, radical change,” Zalivnova said. “They are counterproductive because they ignore key psychological principles. They rely on limited willpower rather than sustainable systems. What’s more, they trigger the nervous system’s threat response: perfection is unattainable, so when we inevitably slip up, the brain interprets it as failure, leaving us filled with stress and shame. This often leads to the ‘what the heck’ effect – abandoning all efforts because perfection has been ruined.”

What happens when your body feels unsafe

A dysregulated nervous system may not always show physical symptoms, but when our bodies are in a constant state of fight or flight, it can take a toll on everything from digestion and sleep to mood and motivation.

Zalivnova points to examples of how neurological disorders manifest themselves in everyday functioning:

• Eating Patterns: Erratic hunger/fullness cues, intense cravings, binge-restricted cycles.
• Energy levels: A “tired but tense” feeling—chronic fatigue combined with restless anxiety.
• Motivation: Paralyzing burnout. The brain associates the goal with the threat, so avoidance begins.
• Mood: Increased irritability, anxiety, and emotional vulnerability due to lack of elastic bandwidth in the system.

You may have trouble keeping a habit, not because you lack willpower, but because your body is exhausted from being in survival mode.

Creating a sense of safety can help break this cycle. Small supportive actions can go a long way.

6 ways to start caring for your body

1. The diet should reflect reliability, not restriction.

Maintaining a balance of protein, carbohydrates and fats by eating regular meals throughout the day can help stabilize blood sugar levels and reduce stress signals in the body. However, skipping meals or eating healthy because you “feel like you have to” can trigger your nervous system and make you feel deprived. Make sure your body is getting the nutrients it needs, but don’t forget to enjoy the foods you love, too.

2. Move your body to promote circulation, not punishment.

Daily exercise doesn’t have to leave you completely exhausted. Even simple activities like walking, light strength training, gentle stretching, or yoga can support circulation and calm the nervous system, especially if you’re feeling exhausted. When movement feels supportive rather than forced, your body is more likely to respond with energy and motivation rather than resistance.

3. Soften the way you speak to yourself.

Your inner dialogue is more important than you think. Constant “shoulds,” criticism, and guilt-based motivations put the nervous system on edge. Instead, try replacing negative self-talk with something more neutral or supportive. Ask yourself, “What would make me feel better right now?” Feeling safe often starts with supportive words.

4. Use warmth as a form of regulation.

Winter can take a toll on our bodies, so it’s the perfect time to practice extra self-care. Warm showers, comfortable clothing, heating pads, and hot beverages can all signal comfort and safety to the nervous system. These little sensory cues can help your body relax, especially during the cold, dark months.

5. Rest without making money.

Giving your body a break doesn’t need to be based on your productivity for the day. Allowing yourself to lie down, slow down, or do less without turning it into “recovering for better performance” helps teach the body that it can exist without constant output.

6. Touch your body with care, rather than judgment.

Attuning to your body through touch is a great form of self-care. One way to do this, Zalivnova suggests, is to “sit quietly, place a hand on your stomach, and breathe five times. Then look inward and ask: ‘What movement does my body want right now?’ It might be a slow stretch, a walk, or stillness. Do this for 2-5 minutes. “You can also do small things like applying moisturizer, meditating, or placing your hands on your chest to breathe to reestablish a sense of connection with yourself. The key is not to look for flaws when doing this. Gentle, non-judgmental touch can calm the nervous system and make you feel grounded.

Taking care of your body is not lowering your standards; It’s about changing the fundamentals. When your nervous system feels supported, your body is better able to regulate appetite, energy, mood, and stress. “‘Resistance’ — desire, fatigue, lack of motivation — is not failure,” Zalivnova said. “This is important feedback data from a system trying to keep you healthy. Cravings may signal emotional needs. Fatigue is a need for rest. Learning to interpret this feedback with curiosity, rather than judgment, is the secret to sustainable change. The path begins when you stop seeing your body as a problem to be solved and start recognizing it as a wise being with whom you can talk.”