Understanding “Anticipatory Orgasm” – Sex and Relationships

Regardless of the trigger, emotional escape is the purpose of all addictive behaviors.

The pleasure from sex and porn addiction comes more from fantasy and anticipation than from the actual act of sex. To use an analogy, imagine a cocaine addict on payday. After receiving his check, he runs to the bank to cash it, then rushes to his dealer’s house to buy drugs with the money he actually needs for food, rent, child care, etc. As he approaches the dealer’s house, his heart is racing, he’s sweating, and he’s so into his drug use that he doesn’t even notice the police car parked a block away. He’s so completely focused on the cocaine that everyday life, all of its problems and obligations, temporarily disappears. Isn’t he already high even without the drug? Think about it. He’s already running away from his life, his decision-making is distorted, and he’s out of touch with reality. It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t have the drug in his system because his brain is pumping dopamine, adrenaline, and other pleasure-related neurochemicals as if he does. This is Exactly the same expected climax What sex addicts and porn addicts experience.

Today’s Task
Notice your desire to avoid emotions. Does this feel like the real purpose of your addiction?