Ultimate Guide to Sex Positions: The Dodson Method | Sex

Let’s talk about sex positions.

Whether you’re just starting out with a new partner or looking to spice things up with an old flame, this series of guides is for you.

Next we have the revolutionary Dodson method.

The Dodson Method:

Wellness Trends Featured in Gwyneth Paltrow’s Netflix Series The Goop Lab Cisgender women are, well, unapologetically Gwyneth—in other words, people either love them or hate them. But while not every approach to health and wellness is for everyone, this remarkable 2020 episode they did about cis female sexuality, “The Pleasure Is Ours,” made even the haters smile. It starred sex educators Carlin Ross and the legendary Betty Dodson, who, incidentally, passed away later that year at age 91. Dodson’s sex education work dates back to the 1960s, when she developed her unique masturbation method and began hosting her trademark Bodysex classes to teach women how to orgasm.

Dodson and Ross’ work aims to teach cis women how to combat sexual shame, embrace masturbation, and achieve orgasm. estimates that 5 to 10% of women to have never had an orgasmAnd even more have trouble reaching orgasm. But Dodson and Ross insist that by following this method, aka the Dodson Method, any of them A woman can learn to have an orgasm.

The method itself involves an oil-based lubricant, a weighted dildo for vaginal penetration, a Magic Wand Vibrator for clitoral stimulation (mixed orgasmanyone?), deep breathing techniques and a rocking motion that Dodson calls “Rock’n’Roll.” Goop The episode shows Ross demonstrating the method on herself, while being coached by Dodson, and it ends with her climax (!).

Note on conditions:

When talking about penetration, we use the terms “thrusting partner” for the person with the penis (biological or synthetic) and “receiving partner” for the person accepting the act of penetration (vaginal or anal).

It is important to note that being a receiver is not a passive, submissive role. It is an active, enthusiastic role. There is power in choice, and by choosing to invite their partner into themselves, the receiver exercises that power.

Additionally, the thrusting partner is not just a giver. Of course, he or she also receives pleasure during the act. But for the sake of clarity and consistency, we have selected these terms for both sides of the dynamic.

How to do:

While you can (and should!) 100% explore the Dodson Method with a (thrusting) partner, experimenting with it solo first, especially if you struggle to reach orgasm, can be helpful, as we tend to be less inhibited when alone.

1. Lie on your back with your legs bent on a bed, floor, or anywhere you feel comfortable and warm. Keep your feet on the floor, hip-width apart. If you have a hand mirror, keep it within reach.

2. Especially if you are not yet very familiar with your pelvic musclesConsciously relax your vaginal muscles while taking several deep breaths. Then, very slowly press your middle finger inside your vagina. Once inside, make circles with your finger, feeling the contours of your vaginal wall. Take another deep breath, relax all the surrounding muscles and focus mainly on the muscle that stops the flow of urine: squeeze and release this muscle on your finger. This may feel soft or firm depending on the strength of your muscle. Remove your finger and with your mirror, watch your entire genital area move from your clitoris to your anus as you contract the muscle by lifting and squeezing it. Lift and release. You can practice squeezing and releasing your pelvic floor muscles with Kegel exercises.

3. Next, work on your breathing more consciously. Take a series of deep breaths, exhaling with an audible sigh. Send loving thoughts to your body. Since getting oxygen into the bloodstream is essential for clitoral engorgement, make sure to breathe: most women tend to hold their breath during sexual arousal.

4. Very slowly, curiously, deliciously, penetrate your vagina with a weighted dildo (that you leave in place, so you don’t need your hands). If you don’t have one, weighted kegel balls can also be useful to you. If you are new to vaginal penetration, start with your finger.

5. With the bar in place, use an oil-based product lubricant like organic almond or coconut oil and massage your vulva: your clitoris and labia. Let go of all expectations of what you “should” feel. Observe what happens without judgment. Stimulate your clitoris with your fingers, feeling and discovering where you are most sensitive. Stay with your hand for as long as feels good. If you want more clitoral sensation, add the Magic Wand, or your choice of vibratorstarting with the lowest settings to bring out the pleasure, and eventually increasing if desired.

6. “Rock ‘n’ Roll,” baby. This is where muscle awareness, breathing, and stimulation combine in one simple movement. As you rock your pelvis forward toward your belly button and squeeze your pelvic floor muscles, exhale through your mouth. Then, as you release the muscle and roll your pelvis toward zero, inhale through your nose. Move forward, exhale, and squeeze your pelvic muscle. Come back down as you inhale and release the muscle. The movement is small and subtle. Rock/squeeze…relax/release…repeat. And keep going. stimulate your clitoris at the same time. Adjust your tempo, rhythm, technique (or toy!) as needed.

Reasons why we love it:

– It’s very stimulating.

– It works! Dodson and Ross have helped about 10,000 women achieve orgasm, either alone or with a partner. 2008 study They tested the method by enrolling 500 women suffering from anorgasmia in the trial. Of the 500 women, 465 were able to achieve orgasm using this method.

– It can be used during masturbation or partner sex.

– If you use a method in your masturbation practice, you will train your body to reach orgasm during sex with your partner.

– It’s educational: you’ll learn more about how your own body works.

– It teaches you to love and appreciate your body as it is.

Other tips and tricks:

-It’s easier than it looks, and with practice, it becomes second nature. Think of it as a dance. Clitoral stimulation, combined with vaginal penetration, sways to the rhythm of a drum.

– Avoid tensing up and keeping your body rigid. At Betty’s own words“Move your pelvis like Elvis. Roll your hips. Before you begin, you can take a minute to dance to the music of your choice with rhythmic pelvic movements, deep breathing and sounds of pleasure.”

-Rest if you are tired.

– Let go of what you think an orgasm is. Keep an open mind and pay attention to the sensations of pleasure that occur in your body. Be patient. Putting pressure on yourself to orgasm is the exact opposite of experiencing pleasure.

-Engaging in sexual fantasies, even if taboo or forbiddenThere are no rules about what types of fantasies will lead you to this heightened level of arousal.

-Remember: sex is about having fun, letting go, and feeling really good.