As a sex researcher, I’ve learned a lot about what it is that people fantasize about when it comes sex. In many of the fantasies I’ve heard, something I’ve noticed is that people— especially heterosexual men and women—often describe a scenario that results in simultaneous orgasm. The idea of climaxing at the same time seems to be appealing to a lot of people, so is there anything you can do to increase the chances of it actually happening in real life?
There is indeed, but before we get into that, let me first caution that you should be careful not to put too much pressure on yourself or your partner to orgasm simultaneously. Thanks to the orgasmic imperative—or the idea that sex isn’t truly sex unless orgasm happens—people already feel a lot of pressure to orgasm and to ensure that their partner does, too.
If your goal is to orgasm at the exact same moment, that can further amp up those feelings of pressure. The end result is that it may create performance anxiety that reduces everyone’s enjoyment and pleasure. In other words, don’t try to force simultaneous orgasm; instead, you may be better off looking at it as a potential bonus.
With all of that said, if you want to increase the odds of simultaneous orgasm, there is at least one sexual position that has been shown to boost the odds of this for heterosexual couples. It’s known as the coital alignment technique, or CAT for short. Sex scientists have studied the CAT since the 1980s and research has consistently found that it increases the likelihood of female orgasm as well as simultaneous orgasm during penile-vaginal intercourse [1].
So how exactly does the CAT work? Here’s the scientific description:
“The positioning for coital alignment requires a shift forward by the male partner from the standard missionary position to the male ‘pelvic-override’ position, in which the base of the penis makes direct contact with the woman’s clitoris. This makes vaginal penetration with constant clitoral contact possible in coitus, completing a fundamental genital ‘circuitry.’ The genital contact is maintained by a coordinated form of sexual movement in which the woman leads the upward stroke and the man the downward stroke. The partner moving his or her pelvis backward exerts a slight but firm counterpressure. The penile-clitoral connection is held together by pressure and counterpressure simultaneously exerted genitally by both partners in a rocking motion rather than the familiar ‘in and out’ pattern of coital thrusting.” [1]
In other words, you can think of the CAT as a modified missionary position in which the male partner is on top and he leans his body forward until the base of his penis touches his partner’s clitoris. The partners then “grind” or rock their pelvises back and forth to maintain constant penile-clitoral contact. This is obviously not the kind of sex that’s most commonly depicted in porn, which usually involves a lot of in-and-out thrusting.
Mastering the CAT is something that takes a bit of practice and it requires that the partners rethink their approach to sex. Partners also need to work together on this because it involves a very coordinated set of movements.
Research has found that heterosexual couples who have experience with simultaneous orgasm during intercourse report higher levels of sexual satisfaction [2]. This suggests that if the CAT is practiced successfully, it just might give your sex life a boost.
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[1] Pierce, A. P. (2000). The coital alignment technique (CAT): An overview of studies. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 26, 257-268.
[2] Brody, S., & Weiss, P. (2012). Simultaneous Penile–Vaginal Orgasm Is Associated with Sexual Satisfaction. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 9(9), 2476-2477.
Image Source: 123RF/Katarzyna Białasiewicz
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