The Ultimate Guide to Sex Positions: Missionary | Sex Toys

Let’s talk about sex positions.

Whether you’re just starting out with a new partner or looking to spice things up with an old flame, this series of guides is for you.

And where better to start with the old classic: the missionary position.

Missionary:

A sexual position in which two partners lie on top of each other, face to face. This act often (but not always!) includes penetration.

While missionary may not be the most popular sex position, it’s certainly on the podium. We all have to start somewhere. Missionary is one of the most common choices for starting points. And over time, it’s one of the most reliable ones to return to.

Missionary position sometimes gets a bad rap for being boring or basic, but it has a lot of benefits. Humans have enjoyed this position for as long as we’ve been having sex for a reason. Because a sex position doesn’t have to be complicated to be good.

This position is great for partners of any orientation, as it allows for increased intimacy, connection, romance, and the overall potential for shared pleasure between them. There’s something to be said for getting back to basics, and there’s a LOT of room to get creative with this one.

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Note on conditions:

When talking about penetration, we use the terms “thrusting partner” for the person with the penis (biological or synthetic) and “receiving partner” for the person accepting the act of penetration (vaginal or anal).

It is important to note that being a receiver is not a passive, submissive role. It is an active, enthusiastic role. There is power in choice, and by choosing to invite their partner into themselves, the receiver exercises that power.

Additionally, the thrusting partner is not just a giver. Of course, he or she also receives pleasure during the act. But for the sake of clarity and consistency, we have selected these terms for both sides of the dynamic.

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How to do:

Typically, the receiving partner lies on their back with their legs spread comfortably. The other person lies on top of them. This way, they can face each other during vaginal or anal penetration.

The thrusting partner tends to set the pace here, as they have a lot of control over the depth and speed of their thrusts. But that doesn’t mean the receiver can’t get involved: They can rotate their hips to keep up the pace or grind against their partner to find a better angle or enhance clitoral stimulation.

The receiver may not have much freedom of movement under the welcome weight of his partner, but his hands are very free to move. He can caress his partner’s torso, run his fingers through his hair, hold him close while kissing him a little deeper. With the gap between the bodies reduced, there is so much room to increase intimacy. Because small actions can have a big impact.

Reasons why we love it:

– The pushing partner can play with the speed and depth of the strokes, while the receiving partner can let their hands tease and explore everywhere

– Super intimate

Eye contact throughout the process

Optimal skin-to-skin contact along the entire length of the forehead

Lots of kisses

Caressing

– Plenty of room for either partner to use their hands to stimulate the nipples or clitoris

– It is relatively easy to add a vibrator that completes the pleasure

– Versatility – so many ways to change!

Variations to try:

1. Receiver’s legs raised

Wrap around: The receiver’s legs wrapped around his partner’s waist

Ideal for receivers who like to exert a tighter grip on their partner.

V-Flywheel: The receiver’s legs are raised and spread apart

The thruster can attach to the receiver’s feet, ankles, or the back of the thighs to provide resistance throughout the exercise.

Lover’s X-ing: Legs raised and ankles crossed

Ideal for receivers who enjoy the feeling of their legs pressed together to enhance pleasure and orgasm.

Legs on shoulders: The receiving partner places his legs on his partner’s shoulders. To modify this, the receiver can move his legs down to his partner’s arms.

Ideal for really deep penetration and even deeper kissing.

One leg in the air: Raise one leg to open up the penetration and get a different angle. If flexibility allows, the receiving partner can place the raised leg on their partner’s shoulder or upper arm.

This position provides incredible access to a vibrator for clitoral stimulation of one (or both) partners.

2. Bridge

The receiver lies on his back and bends his knees. With his feet about hip-width apart, he plants his feet in the mattress and lifts his hips. The pushing partner kneels and positions himself between the receiver’s legs, sliding from there.

With the thruster on their lap, their hands are free to provide additional stimulation to their partner, either manually or with a toy. They can also hold on to their receiver’s hips for deeper thrusts.

3. Side by side

Flip it all over! Both partners lie on their sides, facing each other, for a lower-impact, more intimate version of classic missionary. No one is carrying their body weight here, so both are free to melt into each other. The receiver can wrap their top leg around their partner to give them better access and allow for deeper thrusting.

4. Table

The receiving partner lies on a raised flat surface (e.g. a mattress, sturdy counter, table…) while the thruster stands. Play with leg positions by adding a pillow under the receiver’s lower back. Either partner can easily use their hands or hold a vibrator to add clitoral stimulation.

Other tips and tricks:

– Place a pillow under the receiving partner’s lower back to elevate their hips. This can reduce strain on the lower back and change the depth and angle of the thruster’s thrust.

– Take it up a notch with some light bondage. Consider using handcuffs or rope to tie up your partner so they can completely surrender to the pleasure on offer. Be sure to set safe words ahead of time and play responsibly!

– Penetration is not mandatory. Missionary and its variations are simply great for rubbing, grinding, teasing and tribbing (vulva-on-vulva play without penetration)

– Remember to play! Just because something works doesn’t mean you have to do the exact same thing every time. Be open to possibilities. You never know what you might discover about yourself or your partner when you allow yourself to play without expectations.