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The Ultimate Guide to Choking sexually in the Bedroom: The Dos, Don’ts and Precautions

choking sexualy

The Dark Art of choking sexually: A Journey into Breath Play

Choking sexually, also known as breath play, erotic asphyxiation, or simply choking during sex, refers to purposefully restricting oxygen or blood flow to the brain during sexual activity. It is a kink or fetish that involves reducing airflow or blood circulation to intensify sensations and orgasms.
This guide will explore the nuances of choking sexualy in a comprehensive yet responsible manner. We aim to cover key topics like motivations, safety guidelines, health considerations, communication, and legal issues surrounding this controversial practice. Our goal is to provide insights to satisfy curiosity while emphasizing the need for caution and consent. This guide is intended for educational purposes only.

Psychological Motivations

The psychology behind Sexual choking is complex and multifaceted. Understanding the motivations behind choking sexually is crucial for a safe and consensual experience. For some, it is about the thrill and rush that comes with surrendering control. The lightheadedness induced by oxygen deprivation can lead to an altered state of consciousness, heightening sexual sensations. The release that comes with resuming breathing can be intensely pleasurable.
For others, Sexual asphyxiation appeals to the desire for dominance and submission in sexual power play. The “choker” assumes control over the oxygen intake of their partner, who must fully submit to and trust them. This allows both partners to inhabit more extreme archetypes of domination and submission than in conventional sexual encounters. The choker experiences the power rush of control while the choke surrenders entirely.
Erotic asphyxiation requires an enormous amount of trust between partners. The choke’s life is literally in the hands of the choker. This vulnerability and faith can greatly intensify intimacy and bonding between partners. However, such intense trust should be established over time within caring relationships, not casually assumed.
Erotic asphyxiation provides a thrill from altered consciousness, allows for archetypal domination/submission, and requires profound trust between partners. Those considering it must carefully weigh motivations and relationship dynamics. Proceeding without caution can lead to trauma or tragedy.

Physiological Responses

The experience of choking sexually can lead to a variety of physiological responses. Choking during sex can heighten arousal and intensify orgasm for some people. This is due to several physiological responses that occur when breathing is restricted:

  • Decreased oxygen causes a “hypoxic” state, which can induce lightheadedness, mental fogginess, and a rush of euphoria-inducing neurochemicals like dopamine and serotonin. This alters consciousness, creating an intoxicating sensation.
  • Blood pressure rises from obstruction of the carotid arteries. This spikes heart rate and increases vaginal lubrication and penile engorgement, heightening sexual arousal.
  • When the chokehold is released, oxygen rushing back to the brain can trigger an explosive orgasm, especially in women. The sudden oxytocin surge enhances pleasure.

Choking creates a rollercoaster-like cycle of oxygen deprivation and euphoria. Combined with the adrenaline rush of power dynamics, this can be intensely arousing. However, restricting airflow is inherently risky, and proper safety measures are vital. The brain is extremely oxygen dependent and any loss of consciousness should be avoided.

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Safety Protocols


Clear communication before, during, and after is essential. Partners should openly discuss interests, boundaries, and safe words. Agreeing on a nonverbal physical signal like tapping out is also recommended. Check-in frequently and stop immediately if anything feels unsafe or uncomfortable.


Restricting airflow should be very brief and partial – only a few seconds of gentle pressure. NEVER fully block the airway. Choking too intensely or too long can quickly lead to loss of consciousness or death.


Avoid positions that limit mobility or ability to tap out. Lying down increases suffocation risks if control is lost. Stand, sit, or kneel instead with the throat easily accessible.

Sober Judgement

Choking under the influence of drugs or alcohol impairs judgment and reactions, exponentially increasing danger. Always play sober with full control over mental and physical faculties.


After any breath play, monitor breathing and provide affectionate aftercare. Assess for bruises, voice changes, or other signs of injury. Seek medical attention immediately if any concerns arise.

With education, communication, and extreme caution, choking can potentially be integrated into sex safely. However, the risks can never be fully eliminated. Always carefully weigh the hazards before trying. The alternative of fantasy may be a wiser option.

Health Risks

Choking sexually during sex does carry real health risks that need to be considered. Restricting oxygen to the brain, even briefly, can lead to loss of consciousness or even stroke in some cases. Compressing the carotid arteries can damage the carotid lining, leading to carotid dissection. This can cause a blood clot to form and travel to the brain, resulting in a stroke.

Other risks include seizures, brain damage from lack of oxygen, spinal injury if done improperly, bruising or damage to the trachea or larynx, and burst blood vessels in the eyes or on the skin from the pressure applied. Those with medical conditions like high blood pressure are at even higher risk of complications.

The takeaway is that any form of breath play during sex has inherent dangers. Being knowledgeable about the risks and taking proper precautions is essential. Choking should never be taken lightly or done casually. Education, communication with partners, and setting clear boundaries are key to harm reduction. But the only way to eliminate these risks is to avoid choking altogether. For many, the excitement and thrill are not worth endangering one’s health and safety.


Consent is essential for any sexual activity, but especially higher-risk practices like choking sexually. Without continuous, enthusiastic, sober consent from all parties before and during the act, choking someone during sex can cross major ethical and legal boundaries.

Partners must explicitly discuss choking and agree to it while not impaired by drugs or alcohol. Consent should not be assumed based on past activities or relationship dynamics. The consenting partner must feel safe communicating if they want to stop or take a break at any time. Their needs and comfort level take priority.

Setting clear expectations ahead of time allows both partners to enjoy the experience. Surprising someone with choking can seriously violate their trust and personal autonomy. Refusing to respect boundaries around choking constitutes sexual assault.

Ongoing consent should be verified through verbal and nonverbal cues. Check-in frequently before, during, and after the act. Make sure your partner is comfortable with continuing. Never make assumptions or take silence as consent. Err on the side of caution by stopping if consent seems unclear. Their well-being takes precedence over your desire to continue.

Prioritize continuous, enthusiastic, fully informed, and sober consent. This ensures an ethical, mutually gratifying experience that strengthens trust and intimacy.

Legal Considerations

Choking during sex can raise tricky legal issues that partners should be aware of. While consenting adults are generally free to explore their sexual interests privately, certain laws and liability risks apply. When considering choking sexually, it’s important to be aware of potential legal implications.

If choking results in injury or death, the choking partner could face criminal charges like assault, manslaughter, or even murder. Even if done consensually, choking that leads to grave harm can nullify the consent defense and lead to prosecution. Partners should recognize that accidents can happen, and that “rough sex” defenses do not always succeed in court.

In many places, laws against domestic violence and assault may apply even between consenting partners. While these laws are important for protecting victims of abuse, they can also unfairly target couples exploring choking consensually. Some jurisdictions have proposed specific laws to clarify consent defenses for BDSM practices like choking. However, the legal landscape remains complex.

If serious injury or death does occur, the choking partner could face significant legal jeopardy regardless of consent. They may be liable in both criminal and civil court. Lawyers experienced with BDSM and “rough sex” defenses could provide valuable counsel. However, avoiding tragic accidents through proper protocols should be the priority.

With choking risks, it’s wise to discuss legal liability ahead of time. Setting clear expectations and boundaries will not prevent all accidents, but can help mitigate foreseeable dangers. Partners should also verify their homeowner’s or renter’s insurance covers accidents during consensual sex acts. Navigating choking’s legal landscape requires thoughtfulness and care from all involved.


After an intense sexual experience, aftercare is essential for all parties involved. Choking carries significant risks, both emotional and physical, so extra care should be taken post-scene.

Emotionally, choking someone involves an immense amount of trust and vulnerability. The person being choked has put their life in their partner’s hands, literally. They may feel residual fear, anxiety, sadness, or other difficult emotions after the act and need reassurance, comfort, and processing time. The choking partner may also feel strong or even disturbing emotions relating to power, control, or causing pain to their loved one. These feelings should be communicated in a judgment-free environment. Both parties should share their mental state and provide each other with empathy, understanding, and comfort.

Physically, choking can leave damage that is not immediately apparent. The choked partner should be monitored for signs of internal injury, like difficulty swallowing, speaking or breathing, coughing up blood, headaches, or mental confusion. Even without visible bruising, there may be underlying damage to the trachea, throat, blood vessels, or brain. Chokers should check for any external marks left on their partner’s neck and treat them gently. Providing water, massages, cuddles, or other physical affection can help ground both parties back in their bodies.

The aftercare period allows for processing the intense experience, verbalizing needs, and ensuring all parties leave the encounter feeling safe, cared for, and empowered. This lays the groundwork for positive growth and strengthened intimacy.


There are ways to explore similar arousal and play in a lower-risk manner. Consider the following alternatives:

  1. Breath play without pressure on the throat: You can make commands to control a partner’s breathing and simulate light choking through psychological domination only. Avoid applying any pressure.
  2. Mild pressure below the neck: Light pressure on the chest, ribs, or collar bones can provide a sensation of restraint while avoiding the delicate throat area. Always check in with your partner’s comfort level.
  3. Dominant hand gestures: A hand hovering over the throat without making contact can fulfill the power dynamic while greatly reducing risk.
  4. Roleplay and dirty talk: Explore BDSM scenes with choking themes through words, commands, restraints, and acting. Let the imagination lead to arousal rather than physical strangulation.
  5. Erotic asphyxiation illusion: Mild self-asphyxiation through a grip, gas mask, or other prop that doesn’t fully occlude oxygen can simulate choking sensations. Ensure you can easily and quickly restore airflow.
  6. Mindful, connected sex: Focus on enhanced focus, pacing, breath work, and intimacy during sex without introducing choking elements. Deepen awareness of each other and the eroticism of consent.
  7. Orgasm control and edging: Build arousal through practices like a delayed climax and orgasm denial without restricting breath. Dominance and submission themes can be explored safely through control of pleasure.

The risks of choking play can’t be fully eliminated, but there are avenues for enjoying similar dynamics with greatly reduced harm. Prioritize safety, consent, and care when exploring erotic asphyxiation themes.


Choking sexually during sex is an intense experience that requires care, communication, and caution. This guide has covered the psychology, physiology, risks, consent, legalities, and alternatives to gain a well-rounded understanding. The key points to remember are:

  • Choking produces a physiological high but also serious health risks like stroke and death. Never choke to unconsciousness.
  • Clear consent, safety protocols, and aftercare are essential to reduce harm. Agree on a nonverbal signal to stop.
  • Asphyxiation is life-threatening and falls in a legal gray area. Seek legal counsel if injuries occur.
  • Discuss motivations openly with your partner to meet psychological needs safely.
  • Alternatives like breath play provide intensity without the same severity of risks.

In closing, choking during sex can create exhilarating sensations but must be treated with care. With knowledge, communication, and caution, the risks can be minimized. The rewards come from psychological intimacy and adventure, not loss of oxygen alone. Seek new heights together safely.

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