The Challenge of Self-Defeating Behaviors

Why do we resist pursuit of the very things we say we want?

When other people procrastinate on important tasks, avoid pursuing goals they repeatedly say they want, or slip back into addictive behaviors after a period of sobriety, it’s easy for us to see how their good intentions and commitments unraveled. But how aware are we of self-defeating habits in our own lives? Usually not very. And it’s not an easy task to figure out why we profess to value something so highly (like sobriety) but resist, ignore, or distract ourselves from the work we need to do to achieve that goal. That said, the process of truly understanding our motivations (and the roadblocks we face) leads us to greater growth and healing. To that end, we may want to seek feedback, guidance, and suggestions about our self-defeating paradoxes from people who support us in our recovery (therapists, sponsors, fellow recovering addicts).

Task for Today
Ask the people in your support network if they notice any self-defeating patterns in your recovery. Listen respectfully and see if new ideas emerge.