How effective are you and your partner in sexual communication?

There’s a strong connection between honest communication and healthy relationships, even when it comes to sex. Often, people may find it difficult to share their sexual desires and fantasies with their partners because they fear being judged, or even because they are embarrassed to share these fantasies.

However, multiple studies show that honest conversations are an important part of a healthy romantic relationship. Kinks are nothing more than activities or situations that turn you on and should always be celebrated rather than shamed. If you’re wondering how to talk about your sexual fetishes and desires, here are some tips for enhancing sexual communication.

5 Ways to Talk to Your Partner About Your Kinks and Desires

Create a safe space

Any conversation about you and your partner’s sexual pleasure should be done in a safe place. Whether you want to hold hands and take a walk outside or sit in the comfort of your living room and discuss your quirks and desires, choose something that works for both of you.

Another aspect of creating a safe space is being emotionally open and honest with your partner. Respecting and considering their feelings and wishes can help you improve your sexual relationship through ongoing communication.

Use “I” statements

When sharing your wishes or expectations, it is important to use a polite manner. Never accuse your partner of something they didn’t do as this will make them feel defensive and the conversation will not be productive. Instead, use “I” statements to express how you feel and any specific kinks you want to incorporate into your sexual activity.

For example, if you want to try a flat-chested sex doll, you can use the following statements to express your wishes. “I’d like to incorporate more sex toys into our bedroom experience and would like to know what you think about this.” This gives your partner a chance to understand your wishes while also giving them a chance to express their feelings.

Listen and understand

An important part of healthy communication about sex is listening more than you talk, and listening intently. Instead of focusing on your response, take some time to sit with your partner and listen to what they want. Do they want to share any of their kinks and fantasies in bed, or do they want to get closer to you emotionally?

Being open to your partner’s suggestions, whether they relate to your partner’s sexual pleasure or lack of intimacy, can help you build a stronger connection with your partner. If you feel like you could achieve effective communication by hiring a sex coach or reading about sex toys online, consider discussing this with your partner and see if they’re interested.

Consent is necessary

While kinks and desires are nothing to be ashamed of and can even strengthen your sexual connection with your partner, they do require consent. Sometimes you and your sexual partner will agree on how to explore sex and take care of your sexual health, but other times, you may be at a crossroads about what to do.

This is when you have to focus on doing things that you and your partner enthusiastically agree on. For example, if you want to start trying BDSM in the bedroom but your partner isn’t ready for something intense yet, you should never force them to do something they don’t want to do. This is also true vice versa. If you don’t want to do something in the bedroom, your partner can’t force you to do it, even if you’re in a long-term relationship, and you have the right to say no.

Check in regularly

When exploring kinks and desires, it’s easy to go too far from time to time. That’s why you and your partner should check in on each other after every sexual encounter. Taking your partner’s feelings into consideration during the experiment can help them feel loved and cared for.

This will not only improve your sexual relationship, but also your life outside the bedroom. Whether you’re planning to try something new or you’re currently working on something, checking in with your partner about how they feel about it can make all the difference and improve all aspects of your relationship.

Improving sexual communication is an important aspect of a healthy relationship. Being able to discuss your quirks and desires with your partner shows trust and commitment to the relationship. If you feel awkward about sharing your desires with your significant other, use the five tips given above to make your verbal communication better and strengthen your feelings for your partner. Remember to enjoy the process and trust that the person you share your wishes with cares about you deeply, so don’t be afraid to start a conversation.