Sex Addiction is Not About the Sex

We all have pain. And we all look for ways to make the pain go away.

Most non-sex addicts think that having sex is the ultimate goal of sexual addiction. But it’s not. Our real goal is the fantasy-fueled escape and dissociation we experience when we’re in ‘the bubble.’ As such, most of us try to put off actual sex and orgasm for as long as we possibly can because orgasm ends our escapist high and pushes us back into the real world with all of its issues and problems. The simple truth is that in our addiction we are looking to escape emotional discomfort, not to experience the pleasure of orgasm. Stated another way, sex addiction is not about the sex.

Task for Today
Think about what you are usually feeling before you act out. Most likely, it’s some form of emotional discomfort rather than a desire for pleasure.