Say some ridiculous things: Billie Best Blog

If you’re looking for life hacks to make socializing during the holidays simpler and more stress-free, I have some ideas for you. Some of them are very utilitarian, others are ridiculous. But I’ve learned from a million uncomfortable moments when I spew nonsense and then I step into it, that absurdity can be very utilitarian in an environment where people are on the edge of conflict and you just want to solve the problem of. Eat pie and ice cream before everyone melts into their own corners. Really, there should be an awards ceremony for those who successfully overcome the dangers of casual conversation during the holidays. Here are some pro tips.

I stopped drinking so this was easy for me. Don’t drink too much. I know alcohol seems to smooth over difficulties at parties. I admit that I over-served one particularly bitchy relative in an effort to make the conversation less hostile. But this doesn’t always work. In the past, I often overworked myself and said things that were both regrettable and unforgettable. Like, “Remember that time you all got herpes from the same backing singer?” Alcohol is a myth. The advantages are temporary, but the disadvantages are permanent.

Let a thousand ridiculous opinions bloom and don’t feel the need to be right about anything. Leave your criticism to the algorithm. Everyone hates them. Explain how you can search for “world’s best chocolate” and you’ll forever be stalked online by chocolatiers. Challenge your company to find equally benign searches. Let the conversation continue.

If the people at your holiday table are too old to understand the internet, just ask them who their favorite movie star is or what their favorite black and white movie is. Ask them what their parents forbid them to do when they were little, and then unravel the yarn. For example, in the 1920s, my great-grandfather did not allow my grandmother to sing on the radio because good girls did not sing in public. They were just used to her showing her ankles. If you’re celebrating a holiday with an older person, tap into their cultural memories of their youth. Stop talking about you. Talk about them. Ask simple questions like “Are condoms really made from sheep intestines?”

Put a thoughtful look on your face and ask yourself, “What if your dog’s poop was day-glo orange? Would people be more accepting of it? Would security cameras see it?” Of course, if you’re one of those people who likes to show off at social gatherings in a If you are with people whose shit is the topic of conversation, then you may be in a safe zone. Still, the discussion can be stimulating. science. Pairs well with cannabis. Obviously, there are many benefits to coloring your dog’s poop to make it more visible. discuss.

Hollywood gossip is an easy entry point when you’re with people you don’t know. Talk about which celebrity had the worst plastic surgery. This type of punching is safe unless you’re having dinner with a movie star or someone with sagging plastic surgery. Yes, it’s body shaming and flippant misogyny, but that’s the culture we live in. tolerate!

Over the past few weeks, I’ve seen a lot of advice columns about how to get through the holidays without alienating those around you who have very different views than you. It’s like we’ve all forgotten about etiquette and just look forward to the holidays as a time to play verbal paintball. But do we really need to see a psychologist or get a lesson in order to be kind? If someone on your team says something insensitive and offensive, instead of getting angry, treat them as a person with special needs and make space for their disability. Some of us are born without the ability to empathize. Pretend to feel their pain. The holidays are not about changing people, they are about masking our differences. Become a Disney Princess.

I remember having vegetarian neighbors in Texas who would hang on their fences on the 4th of July^th Grilling and yelling, “You’re eating dead animals!” A thousand retorts came to mind, but our parents told us to ignore them and they would disappear. This inflammatory behavior persists. The themes may change, but the feeling remains the same. So don’t be fooled. Don’t retaliate. transfer. Say something ridiculous. Have everyone take off their shoes and give out prizes for the best and worst socks. This is the common denominator. Find it.