Review: Wandering Bard Astarion Dildo

With its interesting curves, nice head shape, and countless customization options, Wandering Bard’s Astarion dildo is a great way to fulfill your fantasy of having a rogue vampire lover. It suits my taste and play style well, and I really like the design, both visually and in use.

Design and specifications

Wandering Bard makes a Dungeons & Dragons-inspired silicone sex toy for the intrepid adventurer. With an extensive roster that includes mind flayers, mimics, minotaurs, and more, they have plenty of friends and foes to choose from. I’ve reviewed their Basilisk dildo before.

Vampire Rogue Astarion is part of the four-person Wandering Bard squad, launching alongside a Dwarf Barbarian, Elf Wizard, and Human Bard, all designed and sculpted by Monster Smash/Nix. The name is a direct reference to Astarion from the video game Baldur’s Gate 3: an elven vampire who can be recruited and romanced by the player, or played by the player themselves. Granted, I don’t crave Astario as much as the fans do (Will is the one who captured my heart), but when it comes to dildos, that’s a different story. The sideways curve of the dildo I reviewed recently worked so well for me that I had to give it a try.

Since Wandering Bard is a full-fledged fantasy store and Nix is ​​a skilled sculptor, I’m not worried that the Astarion dildo is just a marketing gimmick. These people know what they are doing.

The Astarion dildo is a semi-realistic human dildo with a shaft that curves to one side and features straps above and below a small set of balls. There is a pair of puncture marks resembling vampire bites on the right side of the lower shaft. Initially, I wasn’t too fond of the design—I prefer a dildo with heavier or more perky balls—but the curves of it appealed to me.

The toy comes in two finishes/surface textures: the skin is a smooth matte that creates quite a bit of friction when in use, while the strap details have a glossy finish, making them even more shiny. ShopDad makes 3D prints for several fantasy toy stores and 3D prints for Astarion, using different techniques to achieve a dual finish. (ShopDad has been behind some really cool indie toy innovation in recent years, including pushing for high-definition, near-clear silicone manufacturing and developing technology to make wrappers, suction cups, and Vac-U-Lock bases more accessible to indie stores.)

In the medium size, the usable length of the shaft is about 6.4 inches, and the average circumference is just over 2 inches in diameter (6.5 inches in circumference). It’s a very comfortable size for me. To get the most out of a good curve, I find it’s best to choose a size that’s easily within or on the lower end of my comfort zone so that it has room to wiggle. If the girth is too large, the curves will have no room to shine. Medium hardness 00-50, moderate hardness and certain elasticity.

I ordered it custom made so I chose the size, hardness and color. I chose a sunrise color combination for the marble gradient: Enigma (violet-blue color shift) at the bottom, peach (pink-orange) in the middle, and Lux ​​Gold at the top. The entire result is golden, which perfectly matches the visual effect, like sunlight reflecting off scattered clouds. Enigma photos appear dark blue because this is the shade that appears in direct light, but in direct light one can see purple. It pairs well with my other sunrise/sunset toys, such as my Selkie and TERLUS.

Mine includes the “Goblin Lock” option, which adds a Vac-U-Lock hole to the base. It can be used with sex machines, Vac-U-Lock handles, suction cup adapters or harness adapters. I have a Silc Arts handle that I love but don’t have many toys to use it with, thankfully I found that the handle fits the leprechaun keyhole perfectly. Good news: in the medium size, the Leprechaun Keyhole only extends up through the base, so even without the handle inserted, the shaft won’t collapse and you won’t have any problems using the toy as if there weren’t a hole.

Astarion also offers a plain flat base or a suction cup base.

Wandering Bard almost always offers the option to purchase custom toys in the color of your choice, so there are plenty of Astarions (and tabaxis, kobolds, and dryers…) to go around.

Prices start at $95 for the medium Astarion. Mine comes in fairy locks, 3 colors, and special color-changing pigments, and costs $112. It came with an extra little dire wolf (in rose and cosmic colors) that I ordered at the same time, some stickers, a character card, a soft six-sided die, and a branded cotton bag for each toy.

In use (vagina)

I may prefer texture, but a well-shaped, well-designed dildo will fit me well regardless of texture level. The shape of the Astarion fits my body perfectly.

Asymmetric curves are different from most curves. I’m not quite sure why it feels so different – maybe it’s the position of the head shape relative to the curve? Whatever it is, I like it as much, if not more, than any other curve. The head is really good at pressing into where I like it, and when I turn it, the underside of the curve is just enough to give me the wide front wall stimulation I like.

The coronal ridge of my head rubs nicely against my front wall, especially around my G-spot. Due to its rounded shape, it doesn’t have any rough edges that would make it uncomfortable even on the harder firmness. It doesn’t stimulate the G-spot like I thought it would, so it has more texture and less pressure. I get the best angle for this thrill while riding. (Cycling to stimulate the G-spot seems to be a theme of mine lately.)

I enjoy riding the Astarion more than I thought: Once I find the perfect angle for G-spot stimulation, I just move my hips slightly to maintain friction while using a vibrator or stroker. It’s tall enough that it doesn’t require any support while riding, but I got the best angle on a twice-folded towel (four layers of fabric).

I could almost install the entire shaft, but I stopped just above the belt grain and it rubbed against my entrance. Not bad, but not impressive enough to chase the feeling.

At medium hardness 00-50, the dildo stayed firmly inside me. The matte finish and low texture provide plenty of irritation and friction without feeling like stone. In terms of size and firmness, this works great for me. I find that Wandering Bard’s medium firmness tends to be slightly stiffer than other stores, but with a smooth dildo like this, I probably wouldn’t have noticed if I hadn’t checked the relative firmness.

I ordered the Astarion with the “genie hole” (Vac-U-Lock port) to use with my Silc Arts handle. These holes can cause the shaft to thin/collapse on some dildos without an insert, but this is not the case with my Astarion. I found that it works well even without the handle; the medium-hard silicone is very sturdy, especially in the medium size. Easy to ride slowly without holding; harder to ride if I hold it with one hand; push at slow to medium speeds with the handle; or push at any speed, even without the handle (the base is easy to hold).

Comprehensive

Wandering Bard’s Astarion has a great shape with a very nice head, and comes with a range of customization options to suit different tastes and needs. While I generally prefer more texture, the shape is very effective and well done; I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. If you fantasize about your vampire lover and like nice corona ridges, you can’t go wrong with this dildo.

Wandering Bard Website
Astarion model page

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