Real talk about dating and relationships

Today’s topic is “Dear Sybersue”, which is a hot topic. Dating Advice: The Mistakes of Getting Intimate Too Soon

Some people feel an immediate sexual attraction to the person they date. Even if this is the reward, there are some things to note. This attraction can create a premature feeling of emotional attachment before trust is established. It’s not uncommon for some men and women to rely on this chemical reaction. They need this before they even consider making any new connections.

This becomes a repeating pattern that makes it difficult to build deep, lasting relationships. Over time, it can create a cycle of disappointment. Misunderstandings can occur when one or both parties feel alienated or taken for granted. When you’ve become accustomed to instant sexual gratification, it’s hard to break the pattern.

Early expressions of intense intimacy and affection can take many forms.

This may include sexual compliments, intense physical or emotional intimacy, and excessive love bombing. People also expect to have sex as early as possible. For some men and women, this can be overwhelming during the first few dates. Everyone has different comfort levels and these should be respected before making any assumptions.

Emotionally charged aggression is a big turn-off for many people. This behavior is a red flag that the person has limited boundaries. People who come quickly can also be a sign of need. It often feels rehearsed. This means they do it to everyone they date!

Even when erotic attraction is reciprocated quickly, it usually doesn’t last long.

It is not uncommon for a person to leave shortly after the initial intensity slows down. This results in a lot of bad dating situations or short-lived relationships that only last 1-3 months. Having a strong sexual connection right away can be overwhelming. This may cause some people to run equally fast in opposite directions. They are afraid that everything is happening too fast, even though they may be the ones who started it all!

Allowing intimacy too early can actually reduce trust between the newlyweds. When you don’t take the time to get to know someone, attraction wears off quickly. This is because a stable foundation has not yet been established to support sexual chemistry. Sustaining a long-term partnership requires more than just sex and intimacy!

How do you slow down and prevent things from escalating to the bedroom too quickly?

1. Be consistent by making plans to meet with them, but reduce the intensity of any stress.
2. Don’t try to win them over by bombarding them with undue attention, romantic gestures, or gifts. This may come across as you are trying too hard, or that you are too controlling.
3. Gentle flirting is okay, but avoid close contact or premature sexual discussions.
4. Be careful not to overexpress your emotions. This puts you in a more vulnerable position than others and makes you feel exposed. It can also create an imbalanced situation when it is not rewarded.
5. Limit your texting to one day between dates. Don’t bombard them with information, especially while they’re at work. When you write words, be creative and concise with your words. Mysterious or vague text is frustrating and confusing. Always be clear so that no problems arise.
6. Leave some space between dates, but don’t play games. At the end of the first date, plan your next date. Schedule it a week later so they know they will see you again. You want to miss each other a little bit. Confirm the date within the week and all details. This begins to build an early sense of trust that you are sincere and will follow through. Too many people feel insecure because of ghosting that happens in the dating arena.
7. Share funny stories rather than heavy emotional outpourings. Don’t discuss your past dating experiences or talk about exes.
8. Have fun! Make your time together fun. Take turns planning dates.
9. Humor can instantly lift the mood of a date and keep them coming back for more. We both love to laugh, which adds chemistry and a cozy atmosphere to the date.
10. Reassure each other that you are on the same page about how things are going. Tell them that you enjoy your time with them and that you look forward to seeing them every time. A kiss and hug good night is a nice touch without having to fulfill any other physical expectations.

Hey, I get it. When you have deep sexual chemistry with someone, it’s very difficult not to jump in quickly. Unfortunately, falling into this trap usually has similar results every time. It gives you a false sense of security, but often ends just as quickly as it began. Things go better when attraction has time to grow naturally. Early intensity can begin to shift the dynamic from excitement to obligation. Newlyweds need some time and space to develop common interests.

If you really feel a mutual attraction, talk to the other person about slowing down. Having that kind of traction is a really good start, but you’ll need more than that to make things work.

Let your connection develop naturally and focus on building a strong foundation first. Prioritizing this will give you both a better chance of building a long-term, loyal partnership. This is more valuable and sustainable than jumping in too quickly and looking for repetitive instant gratification.

Watch the video below to learn more about today’s topic.

CyberSu XO

Private Dating Relationship Coaching with Sybersue – Please contact me at Dearsybersue@gmail.com and send me a message to schedule a video or audio appointment within 24 hours. Thank you!

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