Real talk about dating and relationships

What does it mean to be emotionally unavailable?

It is difficult for an emotionally unavailable person to have a deep emotional connection. They may feel they are ready for love, but are subconsciously wary of vulnerability and commitment. This often comes from past trauma, relationship trauma, fear of rejection, or not knowing how to express yourself publicly.

What are the signs to look out for when someone is feeling depressed?

• They avoid deep conversations and avoid getting too personal. They show discomfort when asked to express any emotion. This results in them refusing to express their fears, insecurities, or true feelings in any form.
• When you are with them, there will be an atmosphere that is hot and cold. One day, they treat you with affection and playfulness. The next time you see them, they will feel distant or even indifferent to you.
• As your relationship develops, things won’t stay consistent between you. You don’t feel a strong connection happening, and you’re not sure where you stand with them. As a couple, there is no such thing as exclusivity.
• You often feel like you are the last priority around them. Their independence leaves you feeling left out a lot of the time.
• They rarely show affection or romance, and have difficulty expressing feelings of love. They avoid telling you that they love you, even after you’ve been together for a long time.
• They had a brief relationship history. They all end the same way. There are no lessons learned about how to improve for the future. If ongoing problems are ignored, it can become a repetitive way of life. There is no responsibility for their emotional disconnect, nor do they accept responsibility for their lack of emotional engagement.

Considering all this information, why do many women choose to enter into a relationship with an emotionally distant man?

Many women ask themselves; why would I choose a partner who is closed off and unable to express his feelings? Why was I so attracted to this type of man in the first place? What keeps me coming back for more of the same?

Here are some things to think about to understand why you’re stuck in this repetitive situation.

#1 – You like challenges.

It’s not easy to form a partnership with someone who is emotionally unavailable. For some people, it becomes a challenge: “I can solve this problem.” “I will win their heart and make them fall in love with me.” It can also take on forbidden fruit Feel. You know it’s not good for you, but it still feels exciting! You will definitely succeed!

Love is mutual vulnerability, not self-sacrifice. There must be mutual affection, love and communication for a relationship to blossom.

#2 – You don’t understand what love is.

If you’ve never been in love or had a deep romantic connection before, this may seem normal to you. You’re not quite sure what to look for in a partnership. He seems interested and somewhat in touch, but you start to feel like something is missing.

#3 – You feel the need to win your partner’s love

After experiencing past heartbreak, there can be a lingering sense of numbness. You feel unworthy of love and end up choosing men who are closeted. You may not realize that you are sabotaging love from happening because of these insecurities.

#4 – You’ll become familiar.

Many men and women have a type, and this emotionally unpredictable man becomes your type. That’s all you know. When something is familiar, it feels safe. There can be many highs and lows in this particular type of relationship, and it can eventually become addictive. Finding orgasm becomes a challenge. Even emotionally depressed people have vulnerable moments of transparency.

#5 – You’re also emotionally unavailable.

Chances are you don’t even realize this about yourself. You two have built a protective wall over the years. There is no pressure to open up to them and you can stay in your personal cocoon. That is, until you both end up feeling frustrated that your partnership is in trouble.

A big problem in this situation is that it becomes very superficial. There is no depth to your connection with them. It will start to take on a more platonic feel and eventually fizzle out.

The good news is that when you understand the origin of most repeating patterns, you can change them.

Now is the time to look inward and ask yourself some tough questions. Has anything happened to you in the past that broke your heart? Did you feel unloved as a child? It’s important to understand what causes you to close off or choose emotionally closed men.

Emotional helplessness often stems from a desire to protect oneself.

The biggest misconception is that if you don’t express love or deep affection, you can’t be hurt. Or at least you think that’s what’s going to happen. You have to change the pattern of chasing love and understand that a stable relationship means a long and healthy life.

Intimacy is stronger when you both are emotionally connected. Initially, sex with a new partner can seem very exciting. But after a while, if you don’t have a deep emotional connection with them, enthusiasm starts to wane.

If you find that this is becoming an ongoing problem, step away for a while. Avoid getting yourself into any dating or intimate situations. Sometimes you have to step outside the box to see what’s really going on.

When you stay in a loveless relationship, you settle!

You deserve more and you deserve to work towards a solution. When you don’t feel close to someone, you may ask for more. This can make someone even more emotionally unavailable. You have to have personal boundaries. It is not your responsibility to repair them or remove their walls.

Be honest with them about what intimacy means to you and communicate this clearly to them. If they are unwilling to form a loving connection with you, you need to understand this early on. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you can make a difference. It’s not up to you, you’ll just end up disappointed.

When you are ready to commit, stay away from those who are not. This won’t be a hurtful situation if you take charge of it when you first meet them. Avoid repeating unhealthy attachment style relationships. The more you repeat negative relationship patterns, it will cause you to withdraw emotionally because you don’t trust yourself.

Recovering from a breakup is all about being honest with yourself. Are you choosing this pattern because you are afraid of admitting your emotions?

You will attract what you think you deserve.

When you know your worth, you will no longer attract emotionally unavailable men. Be gentle and respect yourself. When you have the ability to openly accept love into your life, you don’t have to earn it. Real love happens when you stop running from yourself.

Being in a loveless relationship is lonely. Sometimes the partner you choose reflects your fear of vulnerability. You’re afraid of letting someone in completely. When you choose to be emotionally open to yourself, you create space for the right kind of love in your life. Chasing powerless men will do you no good. It prevents true love from finding you.

Watch the video below to learn more about today’s post.

CyberSu XO <3

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