Quarantine Dating 101: The Singles Guide to Dating

If you’re single and wondering whether it’s okay (or even possible) to date while the world seems to be imploding, you’re certainly not alone. While the COVID-19 pandemic has made it temporarily unsafe to meet or hang out in person, there are still plenty of ways to connect (and get intimate) virtually.

Remember that physical contact with another person not only puts you at risk for COVID-19, but also everyone you come into contact with. Even if you are asymptomatic, even if you live alone, we are not taking any chances right now. This is not about you, it is about everyone: the immunocompromised and elderly, the overworked healthcare workers, and the essential workers who are unable to social distance. As the New York Department of Health says, you are your safest sexual partner right now. And while the safest partner is the one you live with, not all of us are quarantining with a partner.

So here’s a guide to making the most of socially distanced get-togethers.

So how do you go about a virtual date?

Many people still want to meet someone, even if they can’t see them in person anytime soon. And most people have a lot of free time right now, even those of us who are typically “too busy to even think about dating.” People still meet through platforms like dating apps, but now the first date can be a virtual happy hour instead of a bar.

Dating apps are even adding new features to encourage virtual dating, making it easier than ever to try it out. Bumble’s “Virtual Dating” badge lets other users know you’re interested in virtual dates. In addition to its in-app video chat feature, Bumble has also added the ability to send voice notes to matches. Bumble also now lets users expand their distance filters to match with anyone in their country. Other apps have added similar features: Tinder’s Passport lets users match in any location for free, while Match.com launched an in-app video feature aptly called Vibe Check. Finally, Hinge’s Date From Home feature aims to make initiating virtual dates less awkward. As matches message each other, a pop-up will ask if they’re ready for a digital date. Responses remain private until both users are ready, at which point the app notifies them.

Once you’ve met someone, you can try whatever platform works best for you: texting, phone calls, video chat, or even emails or letters. Whatever works for you! There are plenty of virtual date ideas out there, from activities you’d normally do on a date, like chatting over coffee or watching a movie on Netflix together, to more creative ones, like a virtual game night or a live workout class.

What about sexy stuff?

It’s time to get creative, honey! All the ways you connect virtually can also be used for naughty times: sexting, phone sex, video sex… you get the picture. You can start by sharing your fantasies, sending sexy selfies, reading erotic books, or watching porn together. Remote Controlled Vibrators are also a great way for your partner to take a more active role in your pleasure.

What if I’m still skeptical?

Hear me out, but virtual dating can actually be better than IRL dating in some ways.

Taking the time to get to know someone before meeting them in person can help you vet your dates more thoroughly, ensuring you’re not wasting time on someone you don’t get along with. It can be hard to get a sense of someone’s mannerisms over text, and a video or phone call allows for a more authentic, spontaneous conversation than carefully crafted messages. Without wanting to suggest that love is blind, talking about your interests or lifestyle will likely tell you more about your compatibility with someone than their profile picture.

Don’t get me wrong, in-person chemistry can be crucial, but delaying physical connection can lead you to develop intimacy in other ways—which could definitely pay off when you finally get to see each other.

I would even argue that we should continue to check in on our video dates even after quarantine. Have you ever thought someone seemed great over text, only to meet up and realize 5 minutes later that you could never date someone who is rude to waiters? A bad five-minute call is way better than a bad two-hour date, trust me. Virtual dating allows you to get a better feel for the other person with very little risk. You can easily send a Zoom link without having to share your phone number or other personal information.

So what are you waiting for? Get out while staying inside!

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