Obstacles: Break the toxic pattern of escape

By Scott Brassart

As drug addicts, we incorporate ourselves into toxic behavior patterns, one of which is emotional and psychological escape. When faced with stress and life challenges, we choose to escape – numbing our fear and discomfort with substances and behaviors that are addicted. Instead of facing obstacles and disappointments that inevitably arise in life, we avoid them.

This is because we usually learn early in life, and it is easier and safer (fewer chances of failure and shame) if we just look at it in another way and pretend that our problems don’t exist. So now, as adults, when we face obstacles, we avoid them and look for a more relaxed, softer way. For many of us, this easier and softer way is through the toxic pattern of escape and dissociation of addictive substances and behaviors.

Of course, in recovery, we suddenly find that we have to face the challenges of life, rather than avoiding them. Unfortunately, life does constantly present challenges – flat tires, job conflicts, wanderers, etc. Unfortunately, because most of our lives are toxic patterns that avoid rather than face life barriers, and when we meet someone we often get stuck. We found that we didn’t know how to overcome the simplest challenges because we’ve never done it before. We lack what Joe de Sena, founder of the Spartan Contest, said obstacle.

The obstacles develop when we consciously stay away from the poisonous dance of escape and avoidance. As we do this, we slowly but steadily learn how to face and overcome the challenges and disappointments of life. Over time, as we deal with this new, healthier way in our life, we develop barriers. Ultimately, even the biggest obstacles hardly slow us down. Often, we find that we actually like to face and overcome the challenges of life. We may even think of what we always want to do, but are afraid of failure and then make a challenge for ourselves.

Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi wrote in his book Flow: Best Experience Psychology: “The best moments of our lives are not passive, accepting, relaxed times… The best moments usually happen when they happen. [our] In a voluntary effort, extend the mind and body to limitations to achieve difficult and worthwhile things. “This statement applies well to addiction when we challenge ourselves to escape the toxic pattern of substance abuse and behavioral compulsive escape.

Happily, any recovered addict can develop a barrier. The first step is to challenge yourself. For many of us, especially those new to the recovery and recovery process, a good challenge may be to stay awake for the next 24 hours or attend 90 recovery-centric meetings over 90 days. As sobering progresses and recovery progresses, challenges may include returning to school or repairing damaged relationships or even marathons. The trick is to start with challenges we can handle today (e.g., at least stay awake until we attend the next 12-step meeting) and try to do more tomorrow and every day. Through this approach, without us knowing it, we can break the toxic pattern of escape and build a new life pattern.

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If you or someone you care about is struggling with sexual, pornography, or material/sex addiction, please help. Seeking integrity to provide hospitalization for sexual, pornographic and material/sex drug users as well as low-cost online task force. Meanwhile, sexAndRelationshiphealing.com offers a variety of free webinars and visit discussion groups, podcasts, and more.