Not in the mood for sex? 4 surprising reasons to reconsider

Just last week, I wasn’t in the mood for sex, but I said yes anyway.

Before I start explaining why I say “yes,” I want to make a very important disclaimer:

There’s a lot of crappy advice out there that forces women to have sex they don’t want to have.

It’s not like that.

It’s not about guilt, obligation, or being a “better partner.” This is me sharing the mindset shifts I’ve developed over the years of doing this work that have helped me approach sex differently.

Here are 4 reasons why I said yes even though I was no Sexual mood:

1. Confidence in a good experience

Xander and I have a mantra: “Everyone who wants to climax will climax.”

We work together as a team to make sure we both enjoy sex. This gave me confidence that saying “yes” would be a positive experience. If I didn’t feel this way, I would say “no” more often.

2. The pressure to “keep up the mood” is overrated

I no longer attach so much importance to the mood of the moment Xander initiated it. I remind myself that this is totally okay, normal, and healthy. I don’t need to feel guilty or embarrassed about it.

there is a difference didn’t really feel it and Actively not wanting it. Instead of automatically answering “no,” I learned to give myself some time and be curious to see if I was open to being turned on, rather than immediately shutting it down.

And if I’m in a place that I really don’t want to do, I’m not going to force myself to do it.

3. Starting early helps

Xander and I like the idea of ​​bringing up the connection earlier in the day; Instead of embarrassing each other.

It relieves the pressure of hitting the ground running and gives me a chance to think about what I want throughout the day. This space makes it easier for me to find “yes.”

4. Sex = Emotional + Physical Intimacy

I really understand the interplay between emotional and physical intimacy and how it plays out in my relationship with Xander. Many of us (I’m guilty of this myself) tend to think of sex as just sex.

Xander and I had some really great conversations about how sex creates emotional intimacy for both of us. We’ve already discussed what kind of emotional intimacy you need to have before having sex. So if Xander wants to reach out to me, he also knows to connect with me emotionally.

We connect on an emotional level beforehand, and we appreciate the emotional connection we can make through physical contact.

If you’re struggling with the stress of being “in a bad mood,” I hope this gives you a new perspective!