Non-traditional sexual interests – Sex and relationships

Only when you can look into your heart, your dream will become clear. He who looks outward is dreaming; he who looks inward is waking up.

Many sex and porn addicts are interested in kinks, fetishes, same-sex behavior, and the like. Many of us would rather our partners not know about these “dirty little secrets,” fearing that we might be rejected because of them. So we act out our desires in secret. We lie to ourselves, like, “Getting spanked by a sex worker doesn’t count as cheating because the sex worker never actually touches me. So what if I masturbate immediately afterwards?” If we find ourselves justifying infidelity with thoughts like these, we should consider being honest with our partners. If we enjoy a fetish, our partners might agree to indulge it, much to our surprise. If it’s same-sex behavior (and our primary partner is of the opposite sex), our partner will likely at least appreciate our honesty. He or she might even allow it within certain limits, though he or she is more likely to view it the same as any other form of cheating. We can be sure that our partners will not support continued lying and keeping secrets.

Today’s Task
Share secret sexual desires with your partner in therapy or at a 12-step sexual recovery meeting.