My wife was called lazy

A gender role story told like time.

A frustrated husband wonders if he’s wrong to expect his stay-at-home wife to look after their home because he’s the one supporting them – and shockingly, many strangers on the internet are siding with him.

He provided more context on Reddit’s r/AITA forum, writing: “I work 40 hours a week and my wife stays home. She decided to become a sahm (stay-at-home mom), which she did even though I disagreed with it. I told her a double income would be better because if one of us lost our job we would still be ok, but she said she didn’t want to ‘miss’ her son’s elementary school years.”

He went on to explain that the two had been married for a year and together for three years, and she had a 10-year-old son. “Recently, I heard her complaining to her sister on the phone that I started playing video games as soon as I got home,” he wrote.

“I later confronted her about it and she said she wanted me to do 50 percent of the housework. I disagreed because in addition to my 40 hours of work, I was responsible for 100 percent of the finances and 100 percent of the car and house maintenance, such as mowing the yard, trimming trees, or taking care of broken things.”

“She said she was dealing with a lot of mental stress, and I told her I was too. She seemed to think her mental load was greater than mine, but again I disagreed,” the husband explained.

Often, in such marital situations, people are ready to tear their husbands apart. However, most of the commenters on the post came to the husband’s defense in this case.

Many went to the extreme and suggested that he leave his wife.

“Going this route – it will cause resentment and hatred on both sides. I suggest you get out now. Also, if the situation is reversed, will she still do 50% of the housework?”

“You’ve only been married a year. You don’t have kids. Get lost now – learn your lesson.”

Others pointed out why his wife was to blame.

“She doesn’t want to be a SAHM. She wants to be a trophy.”

“I personally think it’s a bit of a stretch to call yourself a SAHM when your kids are that old and aren’t homeschooled or anything. What was she doing during the 7-8 hours her son was at school? Probably not cleaning the whole time.”

“NTA. I wouldn’t even bother with the treatment, it’s just another fee you have to pay. I think you know what you need to do. Until then, just make sure you don’t get her pregnant… ever.”

The husband may complain about the dynamics of his marriage, but at least he’s not hiding his salary from her like everyone else.

“He has never revealed how much money he makes per year or let me know about his finances,” the man’s wife wrote on the r/AITA Reddit forum.

“He also bought our new house without me even knowing he bought it, saying it was a surprise,” OP shared. “I did visit it before and really liked it, so that’s not an issue, it’s just that I wasn’t involved in the decision-making.”