If you have read Salty Vixen books or listened to Bedtime Stories with Salty Vixen Audio Erotica stories, you are probably wondering who is the person behind the voice? Here I am. My name is Rachel, I am an introvert who has been through a lot in my life and writing has been a way for me to cope with my emotions.

NOTE: This is MY story, my Pen Name comes from love but my story, this is hard for me to open up about as I am still terrified of what a certain someone might think, that is what trauma does to someone. In present time, I think they are wonderful people but that is the past and the past I grew from it. I know certain person doesn’t remember anything, most people don’t lol. I have a good memory- and trauma didn’t help. I have the deepest respect for everyone but this post is why I became a writer of erotica, why I am an author.

Where does “Salty Vixen” Come from:

I guess you can say I have been through a lot. I will break it down. The first part:

“Victim in a Salty Situation”

goes back to middle school. I didn’t have many friends. I was a band geek. and had a crush in 8th grade with a guy I will call Mr. S. So I am in 8th grade 93/94 school year and the popular guy, Mr. J was dating “Karen” . Mr J was a nice guy to everyone and he was one of the few people who I could talk to. We were also math partners which Karen didn’t like. She would tell me on a daily basis, if I don’t tell the teacher to change partners, she would make my life Hell. And she kept to her word.

I got a modeling job, I told Mr. J about it. He was telling people at lunch and Karen asked him to stop because I am nobody special. Mr. J told her to shut up and that got her going. She walked over to Mr. S because she knew I had a crush on him and told him why everyone was talking about me. Mr. S, and his friends walked over to me and said “I hear ya got a modeling job, for what a dog food commercial? You are so ugly, not even a dog would want you” , he proceeded to laugh.

He sits down and my friend asked what his problem was since Mr. S had been harassing me the entire school year up to this point. I said “I don’t know.. maybe something is happening at home that makes him think I am the punching bag?” okay- was a dumb thing to say. A group of girls who were friends with Karen, told her a different story. Twisting my words. In a bad way. Karen walked back over to Mr. S, and I swear dude had fumes coming out of his ears and nostrils. He came over to me, in major rage, to the point I thought he was going to hit me. – and if you haven’t guessed this is my source of trauma.

He came over in rage, “DID YOU FUCKING SAY THAT BITCH?” (I wrote that down in my diary, so yeah I remember those words) I said “say what?” He said “FUCK YOU BITCH!” – so till’ this day I have no clue what that group of girls said to him to make him angry.

He didn’t stop there. “HOW FUCKING DARE YOU! YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT HUMAN BEING! NOBODY LIKES YOU” and he went back to his seat. I had my first panic attack and ran to the payphone. I had enough of being bullied by my peers but now by Mr.S ?? I had no clue what was said- why didn’t he talk to me? Why didn’t he try to get to know me? I ran to the payphone in front of the office of Warner Middle School and looked back at Mr. S, who was glaring at me. Karen had a smirk and told Mr J. “Rachel isn’t worth it, see??” Mr. J said to Karen “you are a bitch..” and came over to me. I was crying so much.

I told Mr. J that Mr. S is right, and I am going to end my life. Mr. J took the payphone from my hands and hug it up, he then gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek and said “life is worth living for. It will pass with Mr. S and Karen, let me deal with her. I will also talk to Mr. S to calm him down”

I went to Spanish class after lunch and Mr. S said “DO NOT TALK TO RACHEL! SHE IS WORTHLESS HUMAN BEING! A BITCH” , my crying started again as nobody sat in my row. Mr. J walked over to me and calmed me down. Mr. S told Mr. J he shouldn’t talk to me…

Yeah, after that, Mr. S would push me to the lockers, the wall, wrote on a poster board “DIE RACHEL, DIE” and got his brother to give me death threats. Then, my modeling job happened at the mall, 5*7*9, it was window modeling. He had his brother, with friends give me the middle finger, “FUCK YOU RACHEL , FUCKING DIE” and then go into the store, to tell my boss to fire me.

8th grade sucked. I personally think if he had waited until after lunch, or perhaps after school or the following morning, or even called me so we could talk like normal people, this would have been forgotten. He did go on the deep end and I think in high school, Blast from the Past probably wondered why I could say three things to him “hi, how are you?” his response was “how’s it goin’, then we had our May 6th, 1995 hug, that wasn’t just a hug. Let’s just say more happened then a hug… My crush in high school – “Blast from the Past” -was due to I felt protected by him. He stood up for me when bullies were bullying me. So when we reconnected for the “Sexting Relationship”, it felt good being noticed (I was recently divorced at the time we reconnected..)

fast forward to 9th grade, here is a diary entry from before December 1994. Mr. S and I had Mr. Davis’ history class together. Look how desperate I am for friends with him. I wanted to be friends with him, to have him get to know me so he would stop harassing me. I wanted him to get to know me and in my odd mind, protect me from others who made fun of me. Mr. J went to Harrison (different high school) and at this point I had no friends. I did make one friend in marching band later on..

So that is the Victim in a Salty Situation the way I was made fun of for years but Mr. S took the icing on the cake. He is the source of my Complex PTSD (Complex post-traumatic stress disorder)-
Symptoms of complex PTSD

feelings of worthlessness, shame and guilt. problems controlling your emotions. finding it hard to feel connected with other people. relationship problems, like having trouble keeping friends and partners. Read about what Complex PTSD is here.

Now for Vixen in a Salty situation

in a nutshell, a person, who is friends with a famous polo player in England tried to take advantage of me being drunk. He doesn’t play polo and he has been in the media. I won’t disclose who it is, but have chatted with him about it at some point. Happened 18 June 2004 at 10:45 PM on the grand stands, outside the Beaufort Polo Ball tent. What stopped him from going further I got flashback to the point where I felt worthless and Mr. S’s voice was rent free in my head. So in a way. Mr. S saved me from worse things happening that night.

Hell, Mr. J and I made out in my car November 2004 and he whipped out his member, wanted me to give him a blowjob, which I said no. He asked why and I said “I wonder how Mr. S is doing” . Mr. J said “why do you care about someone who hates you?” I said “I look up to him, he is a good person”

Yep- I was in denial, part of me was scared of him and in a way, in 2024, I am still terrified of him that is what Mr. S did to me, trauma.

Erotica Writing bit of Salty Vixen

I got into a sexting relationship with Blast from the Past, who Mr. S knew. this went off and on for 2 yrs and 10 months. And it wasn’t just sexting, we did video sex chat. Sent videos and photos to each other. 5:30AM, morning of day after 20th high school reunion, blast from the past told me that he can’t meet me for coffee because, and I quote his words” I am married and all” – I was sick to my stomach. I had ZERO clue he was married. How could he do this to me? How could he do this to his wife? Yes the whole time he never metioned he was married. and Mr. S if you read this, we reconnected on Social media, chatted, exchanged numbers, he asked me to get Whatsapp and the rest is sexting history (and I kept the chats for my safety) Take advantage of me! and most of all, If Mr. S found out, he would react the same way he did to me in 8th grade. Were thoughts in my mind.

When Mr. S found out a piece of it, he did reach out to me and all he said was “I want to know and I don’t want to know. Move past this, be happy Rachel…” I was a loss for words, I wanted to tell him everything and couldn’t because he wouldn’t listen to me. He shut me down/ cut me off.

Even if I did tell him everything, would he believe me given what happened 93/94 school year (8th grade)? He would call me a liar, that is why I kept the 2 years and 10 months worth of chats, for him to prove I do not lie. I just wanted to be listened to; to be protected by him for a moment…at the same time I was terrified of him. I still am.

Mr. S thinks the worst of me – were my thoughts. I didn’t care about Blast from the Past situation except he fucking lied and made me look bad, and me being an introvert, I took the fall instead of speaking up. I grew into a deep depression after shit hit the fan, not because of Blast from the Past (I am still bitter about it), it was because I disappointed Mr. S. I made him hate me even more. Again, that is what trauma does to a person. I hate having that trauma, but here we are and finally talk about what has been eating me up, helps me continue to heal.

Also, Mr. S said I had no business telling “Blast From the Past” wife.. wtf??? that is when I knew Blast from the Past lied to Mr. S about the whole thing. and fyi Mr. S I had every right to tell her, I would want to know if my husband was virtually cheating on me!- but I knew Mr. S would never believe me-and the Complex PTSD from him back in 93/94 returned and I was back to wanting to end my life- my friends reminded me of Mr. J telling me life is worth living for, that is why I am here today…

After talking to Mr. S, Blast from the Past called me, told me, actually his narcissistic rage was coming out, (I was prepared as I was on the receiving end of it 11th grade when he came back to help out at camp that summer) “you wanted this. You loved this. This is what you always wanted” That set my rage on fire, I never in my life been so confident to stick up for myself, and what I said to Blast from the Past was this “Not like that, Blast from the Past. You made me your virtual mistress. I am disgusted that you took advantage of my kindness just like you did in high school. I am Salty Fucking Vixen! I am nobody’s whore. I am nobody’s mistress I am nobody’s plaything…” and then I hung up the phone and all of a sudden, I did what he wanted me to do in high school from our conversations years past- to find my voice.

And I did. Salty Vixen is the voice of sexy. Voice of seduction. Voice of confidence. Erotica was something from the sexting, therapy writing that became a business. Salty Vixen is me. It is my thing and I am proud of what I have overcome. Salty Vixen comes out of love, it is positive

Taking all the shit that happened to me, putting it into a pot , stirring it and transforming to Salty Vixen, well, here I am. I am the voice of Seduction. I am your plaything, I am your whore, I am your mistress, I am what my author persona is, after all that sexting is what helped create me. I was no longer going to let people take advantage of me. I am the one in control.

Does Complex PTSD still happen? Yep. And that is when I do my best writing. I create fantasy stories, like many authors who have been through Trauma.

So now you know who Salty Vixen is. A strong , beautiful, confident, sexy woman.. and I love being naughty for you, my fans.

Mr. S, although source of my Complex PTSD, in a way, saved me from situations over the years. Mr. J, the Sexual Assault and even Blast from the Past- but how do I heal.. it is a working progress. I don’t think people who have Complex PTSD ever fully heal but best for me, is to talk about it. Maybe someday I will see him again and talk about the past so I can heal. but , I know that won’t happen so, I continue to heal, whenever a Complex PTSD triggers. I want to say he really is a good person, he listened to the wrong people, it is the PAST bit , the PAST us that caused it. But yes, part of me is still terrified of him, all because he never would listen to me. And yes just like in my old diary entry, I do look up to him. Still do. Always have.

This video I made, help me heal from last trigger. I took the trauma trigger from 93/94 and created a fantasy quick story trailer…oh and Mr. J will never have a thought in my stories – not after what he did to me November 2004 . Again I know I remember too much and I know my story, nobody remembers anything but this was something I kept inside me for years due to the fact nobody would listen to me. This is how I heal.