Managing Sex with OCD | Aldult Toys Blog

No two brains are the same, and yet our overall brain functions and associated behaviors are generally assumed to meet a specific set of criteria prescribed by the dominant culture as a whole. Anyone who deviates from these criteria can be classified as neurodivergentUnsurprisingly, neurodivergence can include a wide range of conditions, including the often-cited obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).

OCD is an anxiety-based illness. Mental Health problem characterized by recurring, unwanted, intrusive thoughts, visions, or impulses (AKA obsessions) that trigger anxiety, disgustor discomfort, in turn leading to repetitive behaviors or mental acts (AKA compulsions) in an attempt to reduce or control anxiety.

If you suffer from OCD, your obsessions may revolve around hygiene, symmetrya fear of to be blasphemousor one fear of hurting others or hurting oneself— to name a few. Meanwhile, common compulsions include excessive consumption hand washing, cleaning, accountordering, avoiding triggers, hoarding, seeking assurance, praying, and constantly checking things. That said, some people with OCD may only perform mental compulsionssuch as reviewing conversations or memories, mentally repeating words, neutralizermake lists, etc.

Ultimately, OCD can affect the circuits in your brainimpacting social communication, judgment, planning, and bodily functioning, to name a few – and your sexual experience is no exception.

How OCD Can Affect Sexual Experience

While OCD is a very personal disorder and can vary greatly from person to person, chances are you’ve experienced some difficult times in your sex life. It’s also worth mentioning that sex can even be the trigger for your OCD.

If you suffer from OCD, you may have experienced the following sexual problems at one time or another:

Obsessive worries about contamination. Contamination TOC It’s common to feel anxious about your personal hygiene, exposure to germs and STIs, or the possibility of getting pregnant, even though it’s highly unlikely. When it comes to sexual intimacy, you may have an obsessive fear of your partner’s bodily fluids and tend to clean yourself repeatedly. You may even avoid touching yourself to minimize contact.

Performance anxiety. Spectator means Being in your head instead of your body: worrying about your naked appearance, your facial expression, the sounds you make, or your sexual performance. Rather than simply being present and enjoying the moment, you may find yourself obsessively observing (and criticizing) from a distance, rather than fully inhabiting your body and connecting meaningfully with your partner.

Obsessions related to sexual orientation. About 10% of people with OCD experience fears related to sexual orientation. It could be an obsession with whether you’re gay or straight, a fear of changing your sexual orientation, or a fear that others will think you’re LGBTQ2+. If this sounds familiar, you may be very focused on detecting signs of possible same-sex (or opposite-sex) attraction in yourself, even if you don’t feel any attraction to the group in question. In fact, you may find yourself obsessively monitoring your arousal to help confirm your orientation, distracting from the experience itself.

Intrusive thoughts. While intrusive thoughts It can be as simple as wondering if you turned off the oven, you might also have thoughts that cause feelings of sexual disgustshame or violence (i.e. visions of sex with children, family members, religious figures, etc.). For others, it is unwanted thoughts of harming a loved one. Regardless, these thoughts can, unsurprisingly, be extremely anxiety-provoking and distracting, as well as a huge turn-off. While we all have intrusive thoughts, people with OCD find that they persist.

Decreased libido and anorgasmia. A Study 2016 found that sexual dysfunction affected 53.33% of women with OCD. Orgasmic dysfunction or anorgasmia accounted for 20.51% of the aforementioned malfunctions, followed by problems related to desireat 15.38%. Another study The researchers found that sexual dysfunction was present in 80.6% of women and 25% of men. Common sexual problems resulting from OCD include erectile dysfunction And premature Or delayed ejaculation in men, and sexual pain Or reduced excitement in women. This can be due to a variety of causes, including anxiety, depressionand side effects of medications.

Side effects of medications. Common OCD medications like Clomipramine may affect your sex life. Possible side effects include reduced libidoerectile dysfunction and inability to achieve orgasm. If this sounds familiar, you may be in a kind of double bind, because the same medication used to treat your anxiety is also causing you anxiety via discomfort and sexual dysfunction.

How to Live Your Best Sex Life with OCD

Therapy. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)considered the gold standard treatment for OCD, is a type of behavioral therapy that involves repeatedly exposing a person to their fears while eliminating the compulsions. If sex triggers your OCD, a therapist may refer to sex as “exposure.” The idea here would be to gradually and repeatedly expose yourself to sexual activity without engaging in avoidance compulsions. Response prevention focuses on training yourself not to dwell on the thoughts, pushing them away, or trying to neutralize them. Instead, the goal of ERP is to help you fully manage feel your discomfort and have mindful sex. If you are interested, NOCD has a national network of licensed therapists to choose from. You may also want to consider consult a sexologist.

Mindfulness. Rather than trying to ignore intrusive thoughts or push them away, practice mindfulness can help you significantly overcome your compulsions. Conscious sex You need to stay present in the moment when intrusive thoughts arise, notice your thoughts, process them without judgment or criticism, and let them pass. With practice, a mindfulness protocol (whether ERP-derived or 100% personalized) can help you mitigate some of your compulsions, whether they are directly triggered by sex or not.

Medicine. Another common treatment option for OCD is medicinespecifically antidepressantsAlthough the sexual side effects mentioned above are indeed possible, OCD medications can Diabetes treatments can help reduce symptoms and improve your sex life, especially when combined with other treatment options, such as therapy. Different methods work for different people, that’s a fact. Consider making an appointment with a healthcare professional to discuss your next steps.

If your partner suffers from OCD

Be patient. If you are in relationship with someone who has OCDSexual dysfunction caused by OCD can add to the stress and tension that is already affecting other areas. You may be frustrated by your partner’s apparent lack of sexual interest, or hurt by their apparent avoidance of your body. But it’s important to remember that sexual dysfunction is a symptom of the disease and does not reflect a lack of love, desire, or ability to enjoy yourself.

Consider therapy. If your partner isn’t interested in seeing a therapist, there’s nothing you can do to convince them: therapy should never be forced. But if they’re open to the idea, you might consider seeing a sex therapist or couples therapist together to learn how to better cope. communicate about sex and intimacy. It is likely that going to therapy together will give you the opportunity to better understand your partner’s symptoms and help you both cope better.

Work on communication, always. Communication is to a relationship what water is to a thirsty plant. After all, stronger communication is the first step toward building intimacy and trust with your partner. Whether you go to therapy together or find another way to improve your ongoing conversation, your efforts are sure to improve (and relax) the way you approach sex together, slowly but surely.