Man finds pornographic business card while renovating

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Imagine you’re installing some new flooring and you stumble across a surprisingly quirky piece of history – or maybe a brilliantly conceived joke.

Anyway, user “RichardAttenbruh” and his friends A pornographic business card was found during renovations.

The male prostitute’s name is “Percy Long Prong”.

He would treat virgins tenderly, please spinsters and give extra attention to neglected married women. Oh, and widows were his “specialty.” The yellowed, stained card (front and back) was filled with many blushing details and a “list of services” – one of which included “uterine stretching.”

I personally would love to know what a “bubble shake” is.

Regardless, the pornographic business card post on Imgur received hundreds of comments. Most people loved it, many were intrigued, and a few spoilers said that since there was no contact information, it must have been a prank card (one example was a “rental scandal” card that was sneakily slipped into a Tutankhamun display case).

Here are some selected reviews that are worth reading…

• “A virgin treats her tenderly, and an old spinster is happy.” This is a classy male prostitute.
• The card mentions the Green Shield stamp, a promotional program introduced in 1958.
• Don’t Google what these services are…doing so will cause me to lose my cookies.
• My bubble shake brings all the old maids to the yard

Here are some detailed pictures of the cards. Take your time to read them all. It’s worth it.

As I said, I couldn’t care less if this is legal or not. The fact that someone took the time to make and hide it… is definitely worth noting and admiration. Also, I have some ideas for future renovations. *wink*

Which of the following services would you dare to buy?

If you issued such a card, what “service” would you provide? Share it in the comments!