Liars, Liars – Sex and Relationship Therapy

I could imagine death, but not betrayal.

For many active sex and porn addicts, the immediate and best solution to losing relationship trust is to continue lying, but to do so more effectively. This tactic can work quietly if our partners can’t or don’t allow themselves to think we’re untrustworthy. For a while, anyway. If we choose this path, as we shed more and more lies and secrets, we tend to think, Great, problem solved. Except our real problem is very clear no Solved. Even when our partners choose to believe our mounting lies, often because they don’t want to go through the pain of not believing us, they still experience our emotional distance and unavailability, which is detrimental to our relationship. Plus, there’s a good chance we’ll cheat again and get caught again, and when that happens, our relationship will deteriorate further. So if we value our relationships, we have to stop lying, stop keeping secrets, and start living openly and honestly.

today’s task
Try to understand how your secrets and lies are damaging your relationship and causing your partner tremendous pain.