Let’s Talk Blowjobs…and Your Gag Reflex | Sex Toys

True story: I once threw up on my very first boyfriend’s cock while giving him a blowjob. The lights were off and it was really dark, which was a small pity, but I obviously had to let him know. Yeah, he wasn’t the observant type. I was so horrified after that incident that I made sure it never happened again. Over the years, I’ve given my partner many blowjobs, most of them nice and deep. Sometimes my gag reflex was fully activated, but I’ve never repeated the puking incident because I know my limits and will always back off or take a break if it gets to that point.

Facts are facts: sucking cock isn’t always fun. For starters, it comes in all different sizes, shapes, and flavors, just like the men who are into it. Know this: If you gag while giving your man oral sex, all you’re doing is having a perfectly natural reaction to having a phallus placed in your mouth and eventually down your throat. We all have different tolerance levels, and guess what? Those levels can change from partner to partner or even from day to day. While you might gag at the slightest touch of a cock to your tongue one day, you might be able to take it all the way down your pretty little throat the next. It depends on a lot of factors, including how aroused you are, your position, your mood, and more.

A lot of guys will find it a turn-on if you make them gag on your dick, and mainstream porn probably has little to do with it. Hell, I’ve even been turned on by the sound of my own gags, and the way it felt—and I know I’m not the only girl who feels that way. It doesn’t matter why certain things turn us on, as long as no one gets hurt. Nothing is pure, and lust can’t always be explained.

Ultimately, the gag reflex is there to keep you from choking, so it’s a good thing! While you can’t really stop it, there are plenty of ways to feel more comfortable giving oral sex while still respecting your limits and desires.

Never give a blowjob unless you want to

Rule number one. This should This may seem extremely obvious, but unfortunately it’s not always the case, is it? There are partners who pressure, who coerce, and even force. None of this is ever remotely acceptable. There is absolutely no written word that you have to perform any given sex act on your partner—and that includes blowjobs, even if your partner feels entitled to them. You don’t have to suck his dick every time you have sex. You don’t have to suck his dick at all. And if you choose to suck dick, you never have to push yourself beyond your limits.

Practice on a dildo

…or a cucumber, or your fingers. If you’re determined to gag less easily, there are things you can try, like practicing on an inanimate object—you know, in a zero-pressure situation. Simply place a (clean!) dildo or fingers in your mouth and see how far you can go until your gag reflex is triggered. Hold your dildo or fingers there for as long as you can. Focus on your breathing. Over time, you may get used to the sensation, and you can add in some in-and-out motions to take your workout to the next level. Tip: Don’t worry about keeping your lips tight around his cock. If you let your lips spread open, you’re opening your throat more.

Learn to breathe

Breathing may not seem like the kind of thing that requires learning, but it is SO done—in blowjobs And In life. Sure, we can all breathe in some way, but it’s breathing properly that makes it all happen. When giving a blowjob, it’s extremely important to inhale and exhale through your nose to avoid choking and to alleviate any anxiety you may feel about choking or vomiting. Just breathe.

Understanding that deep throat is not The gold standard.

I totally understand the pressures, but there’s no need to try to imitate the blowjobs you see in mainstream porn. Maybe you think deepthroating is the only way to go because the porn you’re watching doesn’t show any other types of blowjobs. Newsflash: Most women don’t actually know how to deepthroat, whether they practice or not, but that’s okay because you can still give your partner a mind-blowing blowjob in other ways.

Don’t be afraid to use your hands, it’s not an escape.

Speaking of other ways, using your mouth as well as your hands to please your man can be incredibly delicious—for both of you. Just because there are some shower porn stars who think “no hands!” is somehow superior doesn’t mean it is. Try focusing your mouth and tongue on the head of his cock (the most sensitive part), and use one hand (or two) to control how deep he goes. Bonus: This will give him even more exciting sensations at the same time. Get him nice and wet with your saliva—and stroke him in time with your mouth. You could even take it a step further and try using your fingers to play with his balls, vagina, or anus (if he’s on the floor). I bet he’ll go crazy.

Try new positions

Personally, when I want to take it deep in my throat, I like to lie on my bed with my head tilted over the edge. This position makes your throat straight and easier to penetrate. My guy can then stand behind me and slowly slide his cock deep into my mouth. It’s delicious because I can’t really resist in this position, and I’m relaxed enough to let it enter me. It’s worth noting, though, that you have less control in this position, so trust and communication are key. additional important ingredients when testing it.

Go slowly

Again, with mainstream porn. You might think a good blowjob is one that’s done quickly, with lots of vigorous head bobbing. But that’s a guaranteed invitation to gagville, my friends. Try to bob your head less and spend more time sucking, licking, kissing, and caressing. Sometimes, less really is more.

Bottom line: Giving a good blowjob, just like having good sex, is about strong communication with your lover, your partner, your affair. If you understand that, the rest will follow. If the prospect of gagging really makes you anxious, or if you feel general anxiety about fellatio, I suggest you talk about it with said partner. If they are a good fit, the communication will be reassuring, intimate… and even fun. Speaking of which, if you TO DO If you do end up throwing up or gagging, try to approach the situation with humor instead of panicking. Hopefully, your partner will react the same way and you’ll be able to clean up and get back to feeling good sooner rather than later, no matter how that looks for you. <3