Is it normal for men to feel bad after sex?
Of course, not all men feel bad after sex. In fact, many times when ejaculation occurs, a flood of feel-good hormones are released, causing them to feel all kinds of wonderful sensations.
However, some men feel bad after sex, which may be completely normal if the sex itself was normal. mutually agreed upon and enjoyable.
This condition is known as postcoital dysphoria (PCD) or even “post-coital blues.” While women can also suffer from PCD, today we’re going to focus on men who specifically experience the disease.
This is because men and women have different biological makeup, so the causes and symptoms of PCD vary by gender.
Post-coital dysphoria in men: Feeling depressed, sad, or depressed after sex
PCD is a condition more commonly studied in women, but research suggests that men can experience it as well.
In fact, a Learning in 2019 Posted in Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy Studies have found that up to 41 percent of men experience postcoital grief at least once in their lives, and about 4 to 5 percent experience it regularly.
However, this situation can be misunderstood. This is not regret or poor performance– This is actually an emotional reaction that can occur regardless of the quality of the sexual experience.
What does it feel like for men to be irritable after sex?
For men with PCD, they may experience:
- A sudden feeling of sadness or emptiness after orgasm
- irritability, guiltyor confusion
- Emotional distance from partner
- tears or restless
These feelings usually last only a few minutes to a few hours and then disappear naturally. For some people, it may last longer.
Why Men Feel Bad After Sex: 7 Potential Causes of Post-Sex Dysphoria
PCD is complex and can occur due to a combination of physical, psychological and emotional factors.
1. Biological and Neurochemical Causes of PCD in Men
During sex, the brain releases dopamine, the “happy” hormone. oxytocinthe “bonding” hormone, and endorphins, the “relaxation” hormone. However, after orgasm, these hormones drop dramatically.
For example, dopamine. When it drops, it can trigger a temporary emotional “crash,” like a dip after a high. Why does dopamine suddenly drop? introduce prolactina hormone that promotes sexual satisfaction and relaxation. It rises rapidly after orgasm and suppresses dopamine. When oxytocin returns to baseline, it can feel like a sudden loss of intimacy or warmth.
PCD feels like an intense emotional attack caused by a sudden shift in neurochemicals from high arousal to physiological calm.
2. Psychological causes of PCD in men
Sexual activity induces intense emotional vulnerability, which may cause some men to feel exposed or uncertain afterwards, especially if they have difficulty processing their emotions. They may also have feelings of guilt, shame, or conflicting beliefs about sex, and these feelings may resurface after orgasm. In addition, men who have experienced stress traumaor depression may cause these feelings to return when the excitement has passed and the nervous system has relaxed.
3. Related causes of PCD in men
If men have sex with someone without emotional intimacy, or if the relationship is strained, they may feel alienated or regretful afterwards. Even in romantic relationships, intimacy can suddenly drop Orgasmor feeling emotionally conflicted when your partner withdraws. On the other hand, if you have casual sex, especially if one partner has higher expectations than the other, you may feel emotional tension after the intimacy.
4. Physiological causes of PCD in men
During sex, heart rate and energy increase, which can lead to post-coital fatigue. This alone can lead to post-sex slump. Those who experience dehydration or low blood sugar may feel more weak or depressed after orgasm.
5. Causes of refractory treatment of male PCD
The refractory period is after a man ejaculates. This is the recovery phase of a natural decline in arousal and energy. During this time, heart rate and blood pressure drop, and the body releases parasympathetic nervous system signals that promote rest and relaxation. This sudden slowdown can make people feel emotionally drained, especially after an intense high or a prolonged period of excitement. sexual activity.
6. Causes of anxiety and self-evaluation in men with PCD
Some men experience mental aftershocks performance anxiety After sex. This may include worrying about whether they are good enough, whether their partner is satisfied, or whether they are meeting certain expectations. These worries can lead to emotional exhaustion, or a slight feeling of sadness after the excitement wears off. People who experience this are often perfectionists or people with self-critical tendencies.
7. Traumatic causes of PCD in men
If a man has experienced sexual trauma, emotional neglect, or attachment issues, sex may unconsciously reactivate these emotions when sexual arousal subsides. Men may also suffer from frustrated Or anxiety disorders may be more sensitive to post-orgasmic mood swings, which may exacerbate the effects of PCD.
How men can cope with and reduce post-coital dysphoria when it occurs
When men feel bad after sex, it can lead to an overall negative experience. This is the exact opposite of what you should experience when having consensual sex. However, there are 5 ways to manage and reduce these negative emotions.
1. Biological and physical recovery
After an orgasm, your heart rate, blood pressure, and dopamine all drop. In this case, you should drink water to clear out stress hormones, take a short break or nap to reset your nervous system, and/or eat something with protein.
You can also practice slowly, Take a deep breath Activity calms the body and reduces mood swings. For example: Sit down, inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 6 seconds, repeat 10 times.
2. Emotional and psychological strategies
Try not to suppress your feelings. Instead, treat them as normal biological and emotional events. Also, reflect on them rather than brood. You can gently ask yourself, “Did this experience trigger this feeling?Reflection leads to understanding, rumination may leave you feeling guilty or confused.
Another idea is to create a post-coital ritual, e.g. Embrace Afterward, or listen to music to calm yourself down and let your body know that intimacy continues even after orgasm.
3. Communication methods
Honest conversations can make a big difference. “Sometimes I feel down after sex and it has nothing to do with you, it just happens,”. This can help your partner understand that this is a physical rejection, not an emotional rejection.
4. Emotional skills
If PCD stems from emotional disconnection, a person may spend more time engaging in non-sexual activities with their partner, such as talking, cuddling, and laughing. eye contact It is also a way to enhance emotional intimacy during and after sex. The more intimate and emotionally secure the relationship, the less intense the post-coital sadness.
5. Psychological and lifestyle support
Seeing a therapist can help a person unpack emotional repression or guilt surrounding sex, attachment, or intimacy issues, and/or underlying anxiety or depression that is exacerbated after sex.
People can also manage their stress by improving sleep, managing workload and burnout, and limiting alcohol and nicotine (substances that disrupt mood regulation).
So it’s very common for men to feel bad after sex, for a number of reasons. These feelings do not have to interrupt normal daily functioning and can go away on their own after a few minutes or hours. However, if they are a problem for you, we definitely recommend practicing some of these techniques and possibly getting help.
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