I’m dating multiple partners — but that’s no excuse for cheating

Women often have multiple partners at once, but she insists non-monogamy is not an excuse to cheat.

Kenna Bethany, 26, said the idea of ​​being with just one person for the rest of her life “doesn’t appeal to her” and that some people are “not designed to be monogamous.”

Instead, she believed in having multiple sexual partners, and she was upfront and honest about dating multiple people from the beginning in her adult life.

Kenna says a common misconception is that non-monogamy is mainly about sex – but she insists it’s “not a free-for-all”.

She is currently single and says her friends respect her lifestyle, but she has yet to explain this to her family.

Kenna, an actress from London, said: “Different approaches work for different people.

“We’re not all the same, and I think people should talk more about non-monogamy.”

Kenna said she felt “weird” about monogamy when she was with her first boyfriend in middle school.

“We lived together for a short time and I quickly became claustrophobic – although I didn’t know why,” she said.

Kenna first realized she was not monogamous when she was 14 years old.

By grade 11, she was dating two boys at the same time, and to her surprise, both boys accepted the arrangement.

“For some 16-year-old boys, that’s pretty progressive,” Kenna said.

Kenna didn’t start another serious relationship until she was 20 years old.

It was a long-distance relationship – she was in London, he was in Lancaster – and she used the time to further explore non-monogamy.

“I just realized that I’m attracted to women, too, and I don’t want to be in a long-distance relationship with a man,” Kenna said.

Since then, non-monogamy has become her norm, and she describes her preference as a “hierarchical polyamory structure” — in which she typically has a primary partner with whom she dominates the relationship, but also dates other people.

Otherwise, all her connections are equal.

“If I see someone I like at a club and want to hook up with, I’m not going to prioritize that over my current relationship — but if I want to explore, then I can,” she says.

Kenna claims the key to non-monogamy is setting clear parameters, including safe sex, adequate communication, and “making sure no one is left in the dark.”

“The guy I ended up seeing was the first person I’d ever dated who was habitually non-monogamous, but even then, there was always something that needed to be worked through,” Kenna said.

Kenna believes relationships are fluid and there will always be room for jealousy, but she says this can be dealt with through communication rather than cutting the relationship off completely.

Kenna said society still doesn’t have the language to describe the various relationship dynamics people might enjoy.

She believes that many people are not suited for traditional relationships but persist in them because of societal norms.

She said: “A lot of relationships break up because of cheating and stuff like that – it makes you wonder if more people should be exploring non-monogamy.”

“I think this is something that everyone should be talking about.”

For Kenna, the key to making non-monogamy work is openness, communication, and respecting the boundaries set with each partner.

“People thought I was just trying to cheat, but I never cheated — I stayed within the rules,” she said.

“A common misconception about non-monogamy is that it’s ‘liberal’ – that it’s just a thing in Berlin’s sex dungeons, not just for couples to go to orgies.

“I hope to meet more people like me.”

Kenna said that in her experience, non-monogamy tends to attract a lot of neurodiverse people.

“At our core, we don’t dance to the drum of society in the same way,” she said.

Although her friends are fully aware and accepting of her lifestyle, Kenna has yet to discuss non-monogamy with her family.

“I only introduce my family to my main partner,” she said.

She said she doesn’t see herself returning to monogamy any time soon.

“For now, I’m a solo act – the idea of ​​just naturally joining a nuclear family with no questions asked is not appealing.”