‘I’m a Democrat in love with a Republican’: Meet the couple

Duel Democrats and Republicans in Congress could take some advice from these conflicting couples.

“I’m a Democrat and completely opposed to Trump and his agenda, so I know it sounds crazy that I’m married to a Republican,” Samantha Miller, 38, a mother of two in St. Louis, Missouri, told The Washington Post about her political paradox with her husband, Andy, a 42-year-old fan of President Donald Trump.

“Sometimes we don’t talk about it [politics]”Samantha told the Washington Post. “We just knew. My opinion is very, very strong. He has a very strong heart. “

As the red-blue divide and the government shutdown wreak havoc on federal workers’ salaries, travelers’ vacation plans, and more, a handful of diverse duos are proving that opposites do indeed attract each other and can even thrive together.

While Samantha has “diametrically opposed views” from Andy, who supports the government’s economic agenda and crackdown on illegal immigration, she said they “have a wonderful family and a strong marriage built on love, not politics”.

If this sounds too good to be true, that’s because it almost is. There are few partisan ties — and they’re getting rarer.

In 2017, 4.5 percent of U.S. marriages were between couples from opposing political parties, according to the Institute for Family Studies. By 2020, this number had dropped to 3.6%.

There is no updated data for 2025, but if trends continue, less than 2% of marriages across the United States are between Republicans and Democrats.

Love wins – and surprisingly, so do other lovebirds like them.

In Washington, D.C., the epicenter of America’s polarization, against a backdrop of political gridlock and hyperpartisan invective, a love story unfolds between attorneys Sydney Bradford, 41, and Drew Benbow, 42.

“I think it makes our relationship stronger because… I don’t think you should run away from tough issues,” Drew declared. “I think you should talk.”

Both couples told The Washington Post that their political differences have actually helped their relationship in multiple ways. They have become better communicators, approaching situations with curiosity and empathy, and finding other parts of each other they value and admire.

Here’s how they overcame the odds and successfully embraced their anomalies.

Sidney Bradford and Drew Benbow

Sidney and Drew first met 20 years ago while attending Hampton University in Virginia. At the time, both men were considered staunch Democrats.

The two lost touch and only reconnected two years ago when Sydney learned that Drew had written a novel called “The Politics of the Devil.” She sent him a message on Instagram; he responded, asking her about a date.

Over dinner, it felt like little had changed—except maybe Drew’s political views. Sidney noted that her old friend suddenly sounded more conservative than before.

While most liberals may have fled, Sydney, who currently works as general counsel for a health care company, realizes she has romantic feelings for a former college classmate and agrees to continue seeing him.

“When it became clear that he was a Republican, we already had a deeper connection,” she explained. “His essence has not changed—nor [since]”.

Drew, a lawyer and Army veteran, told The Washington Post of his gradual political transformation: “I let my environment shape my politics. I grew up in Washington, D.C., which was very, very liberal. But when I really started thinking about my personal views, I realized they were more conservative and more aligned with the Republican Party.”

Since both Sydney and Drew are lawyers, they are both curious and enjoy participating in debates and discussions.

On the surface, the two disagreed on the issues, but once the topics were discussed in detail, some surprising commonalities emerged.

“You can’t take an ax; you have to use a scalpel,” Drew explained to The Washington Post, believing that most Americans have nuanced political beliefs. “People may have slightly more conservative views or they may have more liberal views, and those ideas combined form your political ideology.”

For example, he said, “There are some Republicans or conservatives in this country who need and use Obamacare.” Drew, on the other hand, thinks Trump is “the most peaceful president we’ve had in decades.”

“Trump has kept America away from these forever wars,” he declared. “It’s important to me – and I’m sure it’s important to a lot of other people in this country [regardless of whether they’re a Republican or a Democrat]”.

Sidney told The Washington Post that her exploratory political discussions also help her recognize the nuances of people’s beliefs.

“It’s never as binary as people think it is,” she said. “I think that’s actually one of the things that came out of my conversations with Drew: How do we agree on certain issues that might make me a more conservative Democrat and make him a slightly more liberal Republican?“

The couple said their fearless honesty and political curiosity also strengthened their relationship in other ways, sharpening their communication and allowing them to have difficult, honest conversations about other issues that arise in their relationship.

Therapist Leslie Koppel agreed, telling The Washington Post that political differences can actually lead to deeper understanding and stronger relationships.

“We all want compatibility, but political differences don’t automatically mean relationship incompatibility,” she explains. “Often what matters more is how well a person stands up for their beliefs and whether they can tolerate complexity and difference, listen with respect, and approach those differences with curiosity.”

Samantha and Andy Miller

While dialogue is important, holding back can also be constructive.

In St. Louis, Missouri, Samantha Miller and Andy Miller often decided not to discuss hot-button issues if it would lead to an argument.

Knowing when and how to approach each other is crucial – and it helps that they’ve been “inseparable” since 2009, so they’re very familiar with each other’s moods and triggers.

Andy told the Washington Post that he votes with his own interests in mind, supporting policies that he believes will keep his family safe and prosperous. He also likes strong borders and energy independence.

Instead, Samantha said she is “an empathetic person” who “wants to do what’s best for everyone.”

“I 1,000 percent don’t believe in ICE and deportations and how they implement what’s going on right now,” she declared, adding that she supports universal health care and gun reform.

The Millers have always been on the opposite side of politics, but they see 2016 as the year politics started to become part of the daily conversation. The pair said they argued “heatedly” during the 2024 campaign.

“You know, they were trying to drive his name into the ground leading up to the second election,” Andy told Trump Post. “Keeping his family down, going after him with lawsuits and legal means to get him off the ballot.”

“But the other side could say the same thing,” Samantha retorted, before quipping: “We’re going to [this] interview. “

However, the couple said their political differences will make their marriage stronger because they need to focus on other parts of each other that they love and admire. In other relationships, something like this might be taken for granted.

For example, Samantha sees her husband first and foremost as an incredible father to her children.

“It just makes up a part of who you are, but I don’t think it defines you,” Samantha said of one’s politics.

“We’d been together for a while before all the crazy political stuff started, and our relationship wasn’t based on politics,” Andy added. “I don’t expect anyone to agree with me 100 percent.”

Both couples said they believed it was “taboo” to be in a mixed political relationship, but they spoke out to encourage others to reach across party lines and put aside their assumptions about others.

Sydney and Drew recently closed a Washington bar called Political Patty’s but now hope to revive it as a super PAC to promote civility in politics.

Now, they say, amid government shutdowns and rising polarization, talking to each other and even finding love has never been more urgent.

“Democrats and Republicans need to be able to sit at the same table,” Sydney declared. “It has never been more important to see the humanity in another person, even if their perspective is very different from yours.”