I Interviewed New York City’s Top Divorce Lawyer — He Shares 8 Things

Ah, the holidays: a time filled with love, joy, and… divorce attorneys on speed dial.

Yes, my friends, it’s a joyous season—until it isn’t anymore.

While everyone else is opening gifts, some couples are opening their wedding contracts and preparing to break up faster than you can say, “New Year, New Me.”

Seriously. For all the problems us singles face at Christmas – like, “When are you going to meet a man?” or “Aren’t you worried about the ticking of the fertility clock?” or “When are you going to settle down?” – It turns out we’re not the ones in trouble.

it is yougot married a lot!

Welcome to the infamous divorce season—the month of December through January—when the gold leaf may still sparkle, but many relationships burn out faster than those crafty fairy lights your husband bought at the two-dollar store, Because he’s a cheap bastard. (Add to That List the reasons why you want to go to an attorney. )

Divorce attorneys’ offices tend to be packed after January 1 for the same reason local gyms suddenly get crowded: People are looking to lose a few extra pounds, sometimes in the form of an impending weight loss of up to 200 Around pounds. -Becoming an ex-spouse. After the “holiday truce” in marital hostilities ends, people are ready to change their lives.

Why is it such a breeding ground for heartbreak?

To find out, I turned to renowned New York divorce attorney James Sexton. You may recognize him from the countless viral clips circulating on social media, including his now-infamous opinion that people shouldn’t get married.

For those who need a refresher, here’s what he said:

“If you break it down, essentially, 56% of marriages end in divorce – it’s only those couples who actually go through the expensive, tedious and emotionally devastating process of divorce. Then those who do it ‘for the kids’ or because they don’t want to give up half What about married people who live together without property?”

sexton estimate “At least 20%.”

He added: “The technology today is going to fail 76 per cent of the time. That’s crazy. If I told you that when you go out today there’s a 76 per cent chance that you’re going to get hit in the head by a bowling ball, you wouldn’t Will go out, or you will wear a helmet.”

I know…it’s iconic.

So who better to ask than someone who handles this type of conversation why December and January are peak armor-wearing times for married couples, and how they can figure it out before heading off to D-town (divorce town for newlyweds)? every day?

Full disclosure: I bought him a drink to discuss this very important topic because I am a shameless flirt and he is incredibly sexy. But I should also mention that he was very smart, provided all the facts, and, alas, was not fooled by my seduction skills.

Note to self: Practice your seduction skills.

Here are eight reasons why people come to his office seeking divorce and remedies to address these issues.

1. “Complacency kills.”

“People become comfortable, and comfort turns to complacency,” Sexton explains. “You stop doing the little things that made your partner feel special in the first place.”

According to Sexton, relationships are like gardens—you have to tend them. A simple “I made you a cup of coffee” or “I’ll take care of dinner tonight” can go a long way.

2. “Sex is the glue”

“Sex is what differentiates romantic relationships from other types of relationships,” Sexton says. “Couples who no longer prioritize intimacy often feel like roommates.”

He recommends scheduling time for physical contact, even if it doesn’t feel sexy, because “desire is heightened by effort.”

3. “Child-centered marriages break up”

“Your kids are going to be gone one day. What’s left after that?” Sexton asked. Prioritizing your partnership strengthens the entire family, he insists, adding, “Happy parents make happy kids.”

4. The “Social Media Trap”

“We’re acting out our relationships instead of living them,” Sexton warns. The constant pressure to look perfect online can lead to disconnection.

His advice? “Put down the phone, look your partner in the eyes, and ask them how their day was.”

5. “Little things add up”

Sexton describes how small annoyances can snowball if left unchecked: “It’s never the big thing, it’s the big thing.” It’s the toothpaste cap, the socks on the floor, the dishes in the sink. ”

What’s the solution? Open and Kind Communication: “Say how you feel before resentment takes root.”

6. “Cheating is a symptom, not a cause”

“Cheating is not the problem, cheating is the problem. It’s a symptom of a deeper problem,” Sexton explained.

He advises couples to view infidelity as a sign to address unmet needs and improve communication before things get worse.

7. “Loss of Identity”

“When you lose yourself in a relationship, you lose the attraction that brought you together in the first place,” Sexton says.

He stresses the importance of maintaining hobbies, friendships and a sense of self: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

8. “Avoid prenuptial agreement conversations”

“People think prenups are unromantic, but the opposite is true,” Sexton explains. “It’s saying, ‘I trust you enough to talk about hard things before they become problems.'” “

Okay, everyone. Straight from the mouths of New York’s best divorce attorneys.

Seriously, we should pay dearly for this advice. All I got was a martini and some cheeky banter.

You’re welcome.

Maybe in this divorce season, we can start repairing relationships instead of ending them—a cup of tea, a deep conversation, an unplugged night.

Ho ho ho, go get laid now – it’s cheaper than hiring a lawyer.