embrace celibacy

i love sex. My whole life seems to revolve around it. I am a sexologist and I work in a family Oh Zone Adult Living Centerall of my personal growth work centers around sexuality. Many of my friends are sex workers and work in the sex industry in some capacity. Oh, and best of all, it’s also my favorite thing to do with my partner in our spare time! At the time, embracing celibacy was a foreign concept to me.

Just need to provide you with comprehensive information so that you can understand the seriousness of my decision to abstain from sex for three months. Yes, you heard that right, a full 12 weeks of no sex (oral, anal or vaginal) and no self-pleasure in a relationship. As I write this, it’s been 4 weeks since I last had penetrative sex (two weeks of total celibacy), and I’m feeling the full range of emotions that come with choosing to give up something I hold dear. The most in the world.

Why be single?

Honestly, my decision to abstain from sex for three months didn’t make any logical sense to me, it came from a gut feeling that it was the right thing for my body, mind and soul at this stage. my life. However, when I think about the reasons behind this trip, a few reasons come to mind:

Ever since I became aware of my sexual energy, I have been expressing my sexuality outwardly. Whether it’s self-pleasure or communication with others, there’s never been a space in my life where I couldn’t be selective. That’s all well and good, don’t get me wrong, but it meant that for years I put a lot of pressure and expectations on my body (i.e. to give me pleasure). I wonder what it would be like without it.

My life is too focused on sex

As mentioned, my life is very sex-centric. This meant that I created an identity for myself around the fact that I was a sexual being and needed to be that way in order to be worthy of love. Who am I without this gender identity? How can I discover love for myself regardless of this identity? These are the questions I want to explore on my journey to celibacy
I’ve been thinking about how to use sex as an outlet to feel good in life. “Well, of course you do” you might be thinking, and I understand that of course that’s why we have sex, because it feels good! However, just like reaching for chocolate when you’re feeling sad can detach you from the emotion you’re feeling, having sex just to escape bad feelings can be destructive if it means you’re not facing who you really are. what happened. My journey to celibacy so far has given me the opportunity to see those times when I would otherwise avoid feeling my feelings through sex.

no sexual activity

How does my man feel about my choice to be celibate?

I chose not to have sex for three months because I had power, and I was grateful to be with a man who loved me while I had power. In our relationship, we value the freedom to follow what is true for us, so I had a lot of support for my decision. That doesn’t mean he (and I!!) don’t get frustrated.

There’s still a lot of sexual desire between the two of us, and sometimes it can be painful if it’s not acted upon. He is free to pursue his desires, whether that means connecting with others within the boundaries of our agreement is his choice. Romantic relationships definitely add an extra layer of challenge to this already somewhat difficult adventure.

Sex can be taken for granted

Sexuality is an aspect of ourselves that is often taken for granted. I feel compassion for women and men who don’t have the opportunity to explore their sexuality the way I did. People with disabilities, people with a history of sexual trauma, or people who live in a deeply sexually repressive society are simply people who lack the ability to freely explore sexuality like I did.

It is for this reason that my journey is about regaining my gratitude for all that my body and sexuality have to offer in my life, because it truly is a gift that cannot be taken for granted.

Conscious celibacy is certainly not for the faint of heart. It takes courage, determination and commitment to persevere, but I am prepared to continue down this path and see what gold awaits me on the other side. stay tuned…

Have any questions about celibacy?

What are the spiritual benefits of celibacy?
Celibacy can increase mental clarity and reduce stress by focusing on personal growth and emotional balance.

Can celibacy improve emotional health?
Yes, celibacy allows us time to self-reflect, heal, and understand emotional needs without external pressure.

How does being single affect physical health?
It leads to better energy management, improved sleep, and reduced risk of sexually transmitted infections.

Can celibacy help relationships?
Yes, it can enhance communication, emotional connection, and non-physical intimacy in relationships. There’s more to relationships than just going to the bedroom! Make an effort to connect with each other, being single doesn’t mean no romance.

Can celibacy improve concentration?
Celibacy often enhances focus, allowing individuals to prioritize goals and personal development. This was a strong point for me because I believe I became too focused on sex.

Is celibacy good for spiritual growth?
Many people find that celibacy deepens spiritual practice and encourages mindfulness and inner peace.

Continue to Part 2: 3 Incredible People Who Overcame Their Sexual Struggles

Author: Stephanie Curtis, sexologist

Discover the insights of Stephanie Curtis! A caring sexologist, she delves into spirituality and tantra through professional, clear, and entertaining articles.