How and Where to Make Friends as an Adult | Sex

Making friends as an adult can be a lot like dating. It can be awkward, uncomfortable, and downright confusing. What should you say? When should you ask someone out on a one-on-one date? And where should you meet new friends?

Mmy friends There’s no doubt that living as an adult is harder than it was as a child. And it can get harder as you get older. In fact, the May 2021 American Perspectives survey found Interesting findings about adult friendships. Many Americans don’t have many friends: 49% say they have three or fewer close friends. Moreover, most say they have mostly casual friendships—you know, those temporary friends you make at work or school. Nearly 70% say they have one such friend, someone they see only in certain places or at certain times.

And to make matters even more complicated, COVID-19 has propelled many people into a new level of social isolation, which has also added a whole new layer of awkwardness and uncertainty to our interactions. Plus, people are simply working longer hours these days, making the idea of ​​“making friends” seem tiring and redundant.

But here’s the thing: friendships don’t become less important as you get older, and quality is much more important than quantity. Also, for anyone who needs to hear it: having an SO is not a substitute for friends. There is nothing like a strong friendship to prevent loneliness and isolation, relieve stress and even add years to your life. Also, if you are single but if you have a “friends first” mentality, you have another good reason to put yourself out there in the proverbial friend zone.

How to Make New Friends as an Adult

There’s no shame in accepting a little advice! Consider these ways to cultivate your friendships as an adult:

1. Leverage your social networks.

Look at your current social network to see where you might be able to connect with people. Chances are there is a friend of a friend who is also in the same situation as you. For example, if you are new to a place and know almost no one (apart from your coworkers), hang out with those coworkers and meet their friends. After all, that’s how friend groups are formed, and growth is a positive thing. That being said, not having many friends is no reason to abandon your standards. If you’ve ever had a toxic friendshipyou know what to avoid, so don’t worry.

2. Leverage the community

Never underestimate the power of community. Chances are, your community has ways and resources to foster adult friendships. For example, you could attend an event at a local coffee shop or brewery. You could also try joining a gym or exercise class. You could also volunteer, get involved with a local church, or join a book club. Do some research on your community to see how you can tap into it (for example, many neighborhoods have Facebook groups and monthly newsletters about events you can sign up for). Chances are, you’ll find something interesting there that can help you build strong friendships with kindred spirits.

3. Intentionally seek out potential friends

In response to the idea that “you don’t make new friends after 60”, Jane Fonda said it very well“You have to go out and meet the people you want to be friends with,” the 85-year-old actress, activist, and icon insists. Her advice for people of all ages who struggle to form meaningful connections with others? “You have to be intentional.” Fonda says you actually have to seek out the people you enjoy being around (imagine that!). “You have to say, ‘I want to be your friend intentionally,’” she says, “and it works. People hear that and stick with you, and you develop new friendships.” As difficult as it may be, it’s helpful to revisit places where you’ve met someone you’d like to get to know better. Repeated interactions canGive us the courage to approach someone for the first time – it can feel a lot like a date, after all.

4. Consider coaching

If you’re facing obstacles that prevent you from making friends, know that there’s no shame in needing a little outside support. A coach or therapist can help you get to the heart of the fears and/or self-esteem issues that may be holding you back and making it feel nearly impossible to reach out to potential friends, or even friends with benefitsWith some expert guidance, you can work to set achievable goals for initiating new friendships, while developing the skills you need to strengthen those relationships for the long term.

Where to meet new potential friends

The short answer: anywhere. But, more specifically:

1. Pursue your interests

As we’ve mentioned before, attending community events, classes, workshops, or club meetings that call to you, or volunteering in ways that are meaningful to you, are all great ways to connect. Quick tip: Whether it’s a gym membership, a tango class, or a soup kitchen, consider not Bring someone you know with you. While this can certainly make the experience less jarring, it can also be very easy to lean on that person too much, which can sometimes prevent you from actually reaching out to someone you don’t know.

2. Play the life stages card

Maybe you’re just starting college or approaching retirement. Or maybe you’re dealing with the grief of the unexpected death of a loved one. Either way, finding others who are going through a similar experience by participating in local events, support groups, or activities can go a long way toward building lasting friendships. If you’re a parent, you might consider taking the plunge and talking to other parents in places you frequent, whether it’s a coffee shop, library, or skate park. Facebook, Reddit, Instagram, and other online forums can also be very helpful in the area of ​​local online groups for parents.

3. Join a MeetUp, Bumble BFF or other tech platform

While it can be scary (and tiring) to rely on technology to make friends with complete strangers, technology is just another door, and each door leads to a myriad of possibilities! Again, the similarity to dating apps can’t be ignored. If people can meet their future husbands and wives on Tinder, you can probably make friends online, too. Think platforms like To meet And Bumble BFF, as they were literally designed to help create circles of friends of friends of friends. Try it, you’ll get there.