How a Sexy Spanking Can Help Ease Anxiety—and Why “Before the Scene”

This slap!

You’ve tried reducing stress with yoga, meditation, and long walks, but have you ever struggled with spanking?

“While it may sound counterintuitive, for some people, ‘impact play’ like spanking can actually help reduce the stress and anxiety associated with pain, or as many players call it, ‘intense feelings,'” Lisa Finn, a sex educator at Babeland in Brooklyn, told The Washington Post.

Impact games can keep you focused on the present moment and interrupt restive thought loops, especially those that plague people with anxiety or ADHD.

“Controlled pain stimulation triggers the release of endorphins and endocannabinoids, which act like the body’s natural painkillers and mood boosters,” explains Finn.

“When combined with the surge of hormones released during sexual arousal, pain can be transformed into pleasure, turning an intense feeling into something desirable.”

Research shows that sexual arousal before or at the same time as pain can have an analgesic effect, alter levels of dopamine and oxytocin, and lead to positive anticipation of pain.

Finn notes that control is a guiding theme for people with anxiety disorders, and influence play can provide two pathways to healing.

• Dominants can channel energy into structured control.
• The submissive can relinquish control in a safe and consensual space.

A 2016 study Spotting participants engaging in consensual BDSM behavior, especially when they fulfill a “submissive” roleexhibited Psychological stress is significantly reduced.

Finn believes that impact games are a great place to start for those who are stressed out and curious.

“Spanking is a great way to start exploring BDSM,” she says. “It’s an extremely versatile show – it can be fun or intense, and it’s very easy to adjust.”

She recommends using a scale of 1-10 to determine comfort.

“After each spanking, the recipient shouts out a number: 1 means ‘barely felt,’ and 10 means ‘too painful,'” she added. “This helps both parties adjust the intensity because one person feels like 5 people and the other person feels like 10 people.”

The variability in response makes communication and consent integral to spanking and any other sexual exploration.

“There’s a process called pre-scene negotiation, where the partners discuss expectations, boundaries and desires for the scene and prepare for any needed aftermath,” Finn says. “This is also when basic safewords are agreed upon.”

Finn says it’s crucial to be thorough in the process and discuss not only physical limitations, but also emotional and mental boundaries.

“If you are engaging with BDSM in a mental health context, it should always be done under the guidance of a professional who understands kink, such as a sex therapist, social worker or counselor,” she stresses. “Furthermore, partners should be completely trustworthy.”

In addition to human hands, Various tools are availableImpact play, offering a range of sensations from a gentle thud to a sharper sting. She encourages partners to explore these options together.

Because BDSM is highly personal, individual experiences can vary greatly.

“For some people, the intense feelings and power play dynamics may trigger anxiety or trauma responses; others may be disturbed by the potential loss of control, even in completely consensual play,” Finn said. “There’s no way a BDSM practitioner can react.”

Arousal changes brain chemistry, meaning the way we process feelings and emotions while playing is very different from the way we experience them in everyday life.

“Once you get back to normal, you have to do a post-mortem,” Finn said.

The emotional shift from a high, high state back to baseline can be a huge adjustment.

“Conscious aftercare is critical to this transition—whether that’s through physical comfort, emotional support or simply creating a space to process,” she says. “Don’t rush into the aftermath.”

Finn said that while spanking can heal, it should not be used as a substitute for medical treatment.

“While BDSM practices can be incredibly supportive tools for managing anxiety and stress in some situations, they should be used in conjunction with professional care,” she says. “They should not be considered a substitute for medical or mental health treatment.”