FF: Apply the S-curve model to strengthen your marriage

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Harvard Business Review blogger Whitney Johnson has some interesting ideas that I think apply to marriage. In your life, Johnson talks about the S-curve model to understand how we learn new things.

You start doing something new to improve certain aspects of your marriage, or just make your wife happier. It could be a new way of sexual change, trying to listen better, anyway. You start from the bottom left of the curve, the yellow area of ​​the chart above. You’re not sure how it will work or exactly what it does. After struggling for a while, you will master it and start improving quickly. You get positive feedback from the bride because she sees a rapid change. This is the green area. Finally, you have almost mastered what you are doing, which means there isn’t much room for growth or improvement. Your wife may stop bragging. You may start doing anything you are used to without thinking too much, or you may get bored with it. This is the red area.

There are dangers at each stage:

• Yellow: The danger here is being abandoned. This is the most frustrating part of doing something new. There is very little growth, great failure, and almost no realization of what you are going to do. The important thing here is to keep moving forward.
• Green: The biggest danger here is a big head. Don’t let your success or her compliments lead you to relax here or elsewhere. You need to add it to other ways to meet her needs and needs. Another danger is thinking you owe something (see “Reject”).
• Red: A danger here is when you hold back before you grasp what you do. Another danger is sliding into the autopilot, which means you won’t do it well. You may also be bored, you stop doing this, reduce frequency or do not continue to do this.

Have you seen anything in the past when you try to improve your marriage? Do you tend to drop out of school in the yellow area? Do you think you’re too much in the green area or do you think she owes you? Have you reached the red area and put down what you are doing to start a new curve?

[This post first appeared Nov 29, 2012.]

Image source: © Paul H Byerly
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