FF: 4 words you should never use to your wife

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First of all, frankly, I don’t know what four words you should never say to or in front of your wife. What’s more, the list could be more than four. However, I can help you narrow down your list by providing four common problem areas.

1. painful family words: Never use words used by her family to shame, tease, or control her. It could be something like “stupid” or a nickname she hates. I don’t mean a loving name that she can live with; I’m talking about people who are mean, or people who make her feel mean. These words have deep and painful roots, and nothing good will come of it if you hold on to them.
2. painful childhood words: Much like the above, but as she was growing up, she interacted with other kids at school and elsewhere. Children can be very cruel and even friends can get hurt by laughing at something funny.
3. painful sex words: Some women don’t care what words you use to describe sex, while others are hypersensitive to anything she won’t hear in the doctor’s office. Many women have a rather strong visceral reaction to a word that begins with a “c.” Many people dislike the words “moist” and “panties.” Whatever her sexual taboos are, using them will make things worse for you, both in and out of bed.
4. sarcasm and insult: Unless she’s the only girl with a lot of worries, she’s probably not as into sarcasm and teasing insults as your friends are. Leave it to men and treat her differently.

All of this is personal and varies from woman to woman. A word that is offensive to one woman is a loving nickname to another; the words “I like you” to one woman are deeply insulting to another. If you’ve been paying attention, you should know what words bother her. Of course, you can also ask her directly. Give her the categories above as a guide, or ask her to list some words she doesn’t want to hear from you.

[This post first appeared Oct , 2012.]

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