Exclusive | Meet the single women who are tired of dating and would rather date

Like countless New York women before her, Lauren Wire was fed up with effortless men.

But she hasn’t given up on dating—at least not entirely.

On a recent Saturday afternoon, Wile headed to one of the hottest hookup spots in town — her local pet shelter, which lends rescue dogs to those looking for companionship without the drama.

“Dating apps can start to feel like just another item on a to-do list, whereas time with a dog feels uncomplicated, present and non-judgmental,” the single told The Washington Post.

“Also, dogs talk less,” she joked.

Will, who works in public relations, is one of many single New Yorkers who spend their afternoons drinking and flirting with puppies from shelters like the Animal Care Center (ACC) or Best Friends Animal Society in New York City.

The 30-something Manhattanite, who has been single for more than a year, told The Washington Post that she was burned out by New York’s dating scene and found it to be “a trickier area than other places. There are so many choices that people sometimes forget how to be present.”

“I’ve been on a lot of dates that weren’t terrible, just forgettable—or they forgot to text back. If you already know what makes you happy, it’s easy to ask yourself why you’re booking a date that might be terrible,” Wyle points out.

Spending time with dogs makes Wire happy.

She says dating a dog is “intentional and calm” — as opposed to a bad date — not about “giving up on dates,” but about choosing to spend your time in a way that “feels good in the moment.”

“There’s definitely emotional burnout. [from dating]. Everything changes so quickly—people are always chasing the next thing, the next community, the next option—that even a ‘good’ date can feel transactional,” Wire said.

What’s not to feel mentally exhausted and transactional? Happy tail wagging and drooling kisses.

Signing up for these shelters’ “Borough Breaks” and “Adventure Buddy” programs allows singles to escape all the swiping, gossiping, and ghosting and makes dating feel like a full-time job—plus, it helps shelter dogs get some fresh air and socialization.

Sam Kersnick, 28, of Brooklyn, is a total convert.

“I stopped using dating apps for two years because I had zero hope in every interaction,” the single Ocean Hills resident told The Washington Post.

“The few dates I went on didn’t lead to anything and I felt like I was wasting time, money and energy,” Kosnick added. “Spending time with a shelter dog is fun and makes you both feel good.”

For Kosnik, the idea of ​​spending a day taking the pup to parks, cafes and pet-friendly restaurants was more appealing than trying to get to know a bland potential suitor.

These women are certainly not the only forward-thinking ones.

Research shows that almost half of dog owners would rather spend time with their dog than go on a romantic date. Taking things a step further, 33% of married people believe they get along better with their dog than their partner.

Besides the obvious reasons, why do singles choose to invest so much time in animals instead of lovers?

“Spending a day with a dog delivers something that most dating apps can’t guarantee: an immediate emotional return on investment,” Dr. Shamyra Howard, LCSW/CST, AASECT certified sex and relationship therapist at We-Vibe, told The Washington Post.

“Dogs are generally consistent. They’re happy to see you. They don’t develop a character or decide if they ‘like you enough.’ There’s no pressure to perform. That alone can be incredibly rewarding and relaxing for the nervous system.”

“Taking your dog out is never a waste of time,” Reifsnyder told The Washington Post. “The dogs always get something out of it – and when you leave, you know you made a difference.”

Outings can also help shelter dogs de-stress, get some fresh air, socialize — and sometimes even find a forever home, she added.

“You’ll leave feeling like you made a positive impact and are unconditionally happy, but that’s not always guaranteed after the first date,” agrees Wyle.

That’s why the trend isn’t about giving up on romance entirely, but more about enjoying experiences that ultimately feel good.

“People realize that they don’t have to be in pursuit mode every moment because they’re single. Non-romantic intimacy is important,” Howard said. “Dogs bring intimacy, laughter, care and being seen.”