Butt Stuff: How to Navigate Uncharted Territory | Sex Toys

I I used to say that you couldn’t pay me enough money to have anal sex. This fear was real and instilled in me since my somewhat innocent high school years. I heard a story, passed down from a friend of a friend of a friend (you get the gist), that a couple a few grades above me had tried anal sex, and when the guy pulled out, there was a shitstorm…literally. From that day on, I swore I would never do anything with my butt, unable to imagine what anyone would find appealing about putting stuff where I shove it. Besides, how the hell was I supposed to recover from such a colossal blunder?

I once said I would never smoke a cigarette in my life. I am smoking as I write this. It is clear that I cannot trust the younger version of myself.

All this to say: it’s been about 10 years since I heard that fateful story and this once unfathomable butt thing is now an integral part of my sex life. It didn’t happen all at once and it was certainly a gradual process – physically and emotionally – but I don’t regret trying it… and loving it. The feeling is completely different; the area is so much tighter that every thrust is maximized and it makes sex much more urgent and often, primal. You can try it and hate it. Or you can try it and love it. Whatever you choose, there’s nothing to fear or be ashamed of!

If you decide to conquer this uncharted territory, such as losing your oral or vaginal virginity, there are a few essential things to keep in mind… and in my experience, these tips will definitely help make the transition from front to back easier.

Comfort

I’m a big believer in experimenting with first times (whether oral, vaginal, or anal) with someone you trust and feel comfortable with, no matter your age. Doing anything sexual for the first time is always a little awkward and when you trust someone, trying something new and expressing your desires becomes a lot easier (in my humble opinion, anyway). Anal sex is a delicate activity and it’s important to be in the right frame of mind when you decide the time is right. If at any point you’re no longer comfortable doing it, then just don’t do it!

Timing

Slowly but surely, you win the race, and that’s certainly the case when it comes to butt stuff; it’s essential to build up to possible anal penetration. As I said, I’ve been skeptical (to put it mildly) about anal sex for years, and my boyfriend had been urging me to try it for a few months. I’d always limited my sex life to my vagina, and had always kept men off my back if they tried to access it. But that all changed a few months ago, when I realized that a little anal action was actually quite enjoyable.

But don’t jump in just yet! Have your partner start with their tongue, then their fingers, and if you like the feeling, keep going and see where the night takes you. Pro tip: Butt plugs. Buy one here.

Communication

As in any relationship, communication is key to every aspect… including sex! I can’t sugarcoat it; the first few times I had anal sex hurt…Not all the time of course, but getting to the sweet spot, as with any sex act, definitely takes some practice. Talking during anal, whether it’s your first time or your fiftieth, is of the UTMOST importance. If at any point you feel like you can’t handle it or aren’t enjoying it, tell your partner to stop… I know I did and it was totally okay. Nothing is set in stone; so don’t worry if it’s not what you thought it would be, and just make sure you and your partner are open during anal (or any other type of sex, for that matter!)

Lubrication

I really can’t stress this enough. Do not, I repeat, attempt to masturbate your butt without lube! It will end up hurting you both. Make sure to apply both to your partner’s member and your butt, sparingly and lovingly. There is no such thing as too much. lubricant when the pleasure of buns is at stake!

Positions

I recommend doggy style for the first few times, but not when you’re on all fours. Being on your knees allows for much more intense penetration and like I said, you need to ease into it, so from behind and lying flat is the way to go. It offers more control for slower, gentler penetration and is so much more intimate, which I think is necessary when you’re exploring new sexual territory. Once you get used to it and have (hopefully) decided that you like anal sex, I highly recommend the girl on top position. This position puts you in control and is AMAZING; it’s all about the angles, after all. Reverse cowgirl also works well and your partner will especially enjoy the view 😉

Butt Bonus: For added pleasure, have your partner play with your clitoris…it works with all of these positions.

Bodily functions

Getting your sheets off was a real and justified horror that I always associated with anal sex. When we first started discussing the idea of ​​trying anal stuff, I shared this fear with my partner and he wasn’t at all bothered, putting it in perspective: “We can always buy new sheets. It’s not going to happen, but if it does, I seriously don’t care.”

He was super reassuring and very attentive to all my butt issues. My recommendation would be to make sure you relieve yourself a little before engaging in anal sex, and if something goes wrong, don’t worry! You can still poop, fart, pee yourself, or start your period during vaginal sex, and you’ll still recover, so there’s no reason to let that hold you back in any way.

Trust

There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing it or not in the butt, and you should always be confident in your decision, whatever it may be. Remember, just because you did it once doesn’t mean you have to do it again and again and again… If you don’t like it, don’t do it and never feel guilty about sticking to your butt.

And so, with all of this in mind, I encourage you to try something new and take your sex life to new heights, with confidence, comfort, communication, and most importantly, lubrication!