All daily inspiration can be found in the book Sex and Porn Addiction Treatment and Recovery. This article is used with permission from the author.

A good relationship is about finding the right person and being the right person.

Sex and porn addicts share certain traits. One of those common traits is that we are often attracted to people who are unavailable to us, or who would reject or abuse us. Perhaps we have compartmentalized sex to the point where it cannot be mixed with emotional intimacy or other forms of healthy connection. Perhaps our self-esteem is so damaged that we only seek out people we deem worthy. Perhaps we are subconsciously repeating patterns of neglect and abuse learned in childhood as a way to control them (even though they are long in the past and therefore uncontrollable). Whatever the reason, our “chooser” is broken, and we need to do a lot of work in therapy and with the help of our 12-step sponsor to overcome this flaw. The good news is that this kind of treatment and recovery is possible if we put in the effort. We really can find the loving, interdependent relationship we have always hoped for.

Today’s Task
Put your romantic life on hold while you identify and correct the flaws in your approach.