Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week | Sex Toy Blog

For many people, mid-February means Valentine’s Day: a time to focus on romantic love and spend money on cute and cheesy gifts for the special person or people in their lives. This time also promotes sexual affection in a big way, though it often occurs in the context of committed romantic relationships.

So what about people who don’t experience romantic attraction and desire in this way? Luckily, Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week is hot on the heels of the romantic frenzy of Valentine’s Day to answer this question and more.

Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week

While the first Aromantic Awareness Week was held in November 2014, the event was postponed until February of the following year and the name was changed to the more inclusive Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week (ASAW). As of 2021, there have been a total of 6 States and Cities That Have Recognized This week-long event shows that awareness is growing. Such official recognition is not necessary for such an event to take place. But the more ASAW is publicly embraced, the more successful its mission will be.

ASAW typically takes place during the first full week after Valentine’s Day. This year, February 20-26, the week is dedicated to promoting awareness, understanding, and compassion for people on the aromantic spectrum (sometimes also called aro-spec). And after the LGBTQIA wiki deleted all of its aromantic micro-label pages With this year’s ASAW just days away, it seems especially fitting that we come together to combat arophobia on all sides; to celebrate and support the aromantic branch of our community.

What is aromanticism?

Aromantism is a romantic orientation characterized by a lack of romantic attraction or interest in romantic relationships. The opposite of aromantic is alloromantic: a tendency to have romantic feelings for others or desire to pursue romantic relationships.

Because these two orientations seem to overlap for many people, the distinction between sexual orientation and romantic orientation is not always clear or understood, which is part of the challenge of determining what aromanticism is. Sexual orientation refers to the person you are most likely to feel sexual attraction or desire toward, while romantic orientation indicates the person you are most likely to develop feelings of romantic love toward or want to pursue a romantic relationship with.

Although aromanticism is included in the queer alphabet (the A in LGBTQIA+ stands for aromantic, asexual, and agender), aromanticism is not correlated with a specific gender or sexual orientation. Aro-spec people, who can be any gender or sexual orientation themselves, experience little to no romantic attraction to aro-spec people.The desire to have romantic relationships with anyone, regardless of gender. Because there are nuances in how this can be expressed in each aromantic individual, aromanticism is said to exist on a spectrum.

Other identities On the aromantic spectrum we find:

– Gray-romantic: experiencing romantic feelings only occasionally or rarely

– Demiromantic: experiencing romantic feelings toward another person only after a strong emotional connection has been formed

– Lithromantic or Akoiromantic:to have romantic feelings toward another person only until those feelings are reciprocated. (When romantic desire is reciprocated, the attraction weakens or disappears.)

– Reciprocal: to experience romantic feelings only if you know that these feelings are mutual

– Aroflux: when romantic attraction trends change over time

Common Aromantic Myths

Since aromanticism is a relatively new concept, there are many misconceptions and myths surrounding it. Most importantly, if you or someone you know is aromantic, there is nothing wrong with that. Aromanticism is not a mental illness. It is a valid identity within the spectrum of human existence. As awareness grows, so does acceptance and understanding.

In the spirit of ASAW, here are some of the common misunderstandings that need to be cleared up:

Aromanticism and asexuality are the same thing

Aromanticism is often confused with asexuality, but asexuality refers to a lack of sexual attraction. While there are some conceptual similarities and the communities often overlap, aromantic and asexual are not synonymous. Asexuals can have strong romantic inclinations, and aromantics can have any sexual orientation.

Aromantics have commitment phobia

Aro-spec people can form meaningful, fulfilling, loving relationships with other people. Their relationships are simply not motivated or built on romantic feelings. These relationships can be monogamous or polyamorous, sexual or queerplatonic (meaning they are more intimate or consciously committed than a regular so-called friendship, though still not romantic).

Aromantics simply hate romance.

Aromantic people may not experience romantic attraction, but that doesn’t mean they hate the concept of romance. Aromantic people can find a lot of pleasure in romantic themes in media and entertainment. We don’t explode if we find pleasure in singing along to a good love song.

“You just haven’t found the right person yet.”

There are few things more discouraging, especially when you are still trying to find your place in your identity, than having people dismiss you and your lived experience as a phase or problem that needs to be fixed and that the right person can and will “fix.” Aromantics are whole beings who simply do not want to be in romantic relationships; they are not broken things that need to be fixed.

Aromantics are opposed to touch and/or sex

People of all romantic orientations may have different needs for physical attention and sexual contact, both of which can be desired in healthy ways without romantic feelings being involved. Unless they are also asexual, many aromantics enjoy happy, healthy libidos and partnered sex lives.

Aromantic means you are emotionally numb or cannot feel love

The stereotyping and pathologization of aromantics as cold, narcissistic, and sociopathic is all too common and unfounded. But aromanticism is a lack of romantic feelings toward others or a desire to have romantic relationships with them, not a lack of emotional intelligence and depth. And love comes in many forms.