Are your assumptions about your wife damaging your marriage?

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On Tuesday, I talked about being unkind to people. I talked about the assumptions I made about people’s intelligence, integrity, and decency. These assumptions are the real issues. I justified my wrongdoings based on my own assumptions.

How we treat people is based on the assumptions we make about them. How you respond to homelessness depends on your assumptions. How you feel about people with different values ​​or political views depends on your assumptions. And how you view and treat your wife is based on the assumptions you make about her!

We don’t just justify our actions based on our assumptions, sometimes we also make assumptions to justify how we want to treat someone. We do both of these things with our wives.

What if your wife is wrong about what she thinks? What if you misunderstood why she did something? Or why doesn’t she do something else? What if her choices are based on some trauma from her past that you don’t know about, don’t fully understand, or have ignored or diminished?

If you judge your wife wrongly, you have no chance of treating her the way you should. You will do something unacceptable and harmful. Your attempts to push for change will have the opposite effect you want, and you will mess up your marriage.

So check your assumptions. Or better yet, ditch them and get the facts!

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