Are you a people pleaser? Take this quick test!!!

See if you are a people pleaser

Pleasing othersPeople-pleasing behavior is prevalent in our social circles, in our relationships, and in the workplace.

Accepting a person who loves to please others doesn’t seem to be a bad thing. We got what we wanted from them So it must be okay right? The truth is, people who lack the ability to say no, and do things for others regardless of their own wishes, are not being genuine and sincere. As a “recovering” people pleaser, I know this feeling all too well.

The intentions of people pleasers appear to be well-intentioned.

You ask them to do something and they do it for you, how nice of them! However, if you dig a little deeper, you may find that they resent you for promising something they refused. I don’t know about you, but it kind of chills me to think of someone doing something for me and holding a grudge against them.

People pleasers can be extremely insecure and constantly seek external validation to feel complete. Fear of rejection, abandonment, and dislike can trap people in a cycle of going against their own wishes in order to gain approval from others. People pleasers may believe they are being kind to others, but often they are just afraid of rejection and confrontation.

By this stage, you may have identified yourself as a people pleaser or know someone in your life who fits this profile. Being aware of your own actions and behaviors as well as the actions and behaviors of others is a great place to be because it is from here that you can bring about positive changes in your life. The biggest change I would strongly encourage people pleasers to make is

Learn how to communicate your boundaries.

In certain circles, boundaries get a bad rap, with some believing that boundaries are what get in the way or get in the way of true connection. Where I come from, this couldn’t be further from the truth, and healthy boundaries ultimately lead to greater connection and love. Boundaries allow us to create a sense of safety for ourselves in our lives. They are the ultimate expression of self-love and self-care.

Boundaries allow people to build connections based on trust and authenticity. When I know they can say “no” to me, I can trust their “yes” more. When I ask someone for something with clear boundaries, I can rest assured knowing they are doing it of their own free will, not to please me.

Boundaries Actually Allow You to Connect and Show Empathy

One of the big misconceptions about boundaries that I mentioned above is that they cut us off from other people. I love what Brene Brown said, that the most compassionate people she interviewed were the “people with the absolute most boundaries.” Boundaries allow us to truly connect with others and be absolutely compassionate to them because we know that when boundaries are present, we can recognize what is and is not right for us.

boundary It doesn’t make you an unlovable person, in fact it’s quite the opposite. Having healthy boundaries is all about self-respect, which leads to others respecting you. When you’re surrounded by people who respect you, you feel loved with all your heart – the exact opposite of the “love” you get from people who don’t respect you.

Communication boundaries apply to all areas of our lives. Whether it’s at work, school, the bar on Friday night, or the sex party on Monday, these boundaries must be maintained at all times.

People come and go in your life, so speak up today

All kinds of people will come and go in your life. From friends to intimate partners, we will meet many people along our journey. The only constant in our lives is ourselves. When people express their fear of speaking up for their boundaries, I ask them, 10 years from now, do they believe they will think back to the person who left them because they stood up for what they were and were not accepting?

Or will they be proud of themselves for becoming confident, self-loving, independent-minded individuals who attract people who love and respect them with all their hearts? I think you can guess the answer…

If you are a people pleaser, someone who craves more self-love, or simply someone who lacks boundaries, I highly recommend that you seek support and rediscover your ability to communicate boundaries. Your future self will thank you, I promise! There are countless programs, coaches, and therapists who can help you tap into your ultimate power as a human being.

The benefits of gaining self-worth and pride

When you stop being a people pleaser, you’ll start to attract more genuine people into your life. These are people who value you for who you are, not what you can do for them. By setting boundaries, you show others how to respect you and foster healthier relationships. Standing up for yourself builds confidence and allows you to express your true feelings without fear of rejection.

This newfound confidence extends to the bedroom, where open communication becomes key to a more satisfying experience. You learn to express your desires and needs more clearly, increasing intimacy with your partner. The confidence you gain in your personal life naturally carries over to your intimate moments.

You begin to prioritize your own pleasure and make sure your partner understands your boundaries. When you stop feeling the need to please everyone, you become more authentic and attract people who appreciate and respect the real you. When you stay true to yourself, a genuine connection built on mutual respect and understanding flourishes. This authenticity makes your interactions in and out of the bedroom more fulfilling and meaningful, creating a virtuous cycle of confidence and genuine connection.

Explore the insights of Stephanie Curtis! A caring sexologist, she delves into spirituality and tantra, and writes professionally, clearly, and entertainingly.