Ancient Dildos and Sex Toys – Learn how our ancestors got

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Having sex is nothing new. Wanting sex is nothing new.

Wanting sex but not getting it is certainly nothing new.

It’s no surprise that our ancestors found ways to relieve itchy cuticles using custom tools.

Besides being interested in the ancient origins of dildos, it’s also interesting to learn what experts know about them. Can’t agree on their true purpose – or cannot accept their great¹⁰⁰ Grandparents need to get off the bus.

These arguments seem to waver. Ritual items, crop protectants, repellent trinkets Evil Function Tool (Like a knife that just happens to have a penis-shaped blade) Or a rock-hard sex rod.

That’s what made them weird thousands of years ago…

54 BC and the Bees

Rumor has it that Cleopatra invented the first vibrator, using a Papyrus box or gourd (The story varies from person to person, just like a ridiculous urban legend), Then fill it with bees.

Angry bees. We have no way of knowing if this is true, but it certainly makes some people vivid image.

It wasn’t until 1869 that a more user-friendly version appeared.

Used to treat hysteria (That is, women are horny, but the men around them think that women have no sexual desire and will “go crazy” if they don’t have semen)these steam-driven, train-like engines were placed in doctors’ offices until the practice declined in the early twentieth century.

Mainly because ordinary people began to realize that “hysteria” was just a general diagnosis given by doctors because they had no idea what was really going on.

What makes it even more ridiculous? Personal massagers were all the rage in the early 20th century. even Sears Sold them.

However, when they appeared in porn and everyone figured out what they were really for, the boxes quickly disappeared from the shelves.

Want more modern sex toys that will blow your mind? Check out:

10 Crazy Sex Scenes You’ll Never Forget

Chinese Mummy and Red Stick

In the Xinjiang Uyghur region of China, people have discovered 4,000-year-old female mummies holding some kind of sacrificial rooster. 4 cm penis engraving (mostly) Painted red to show its status.

In the 1930s, Swedish explorer Folke Bergman discovered more than 330 tombs dating back to around 1980 B.C. (Although a local hunter had discovered the site 20 years earlier and helped Bergman find it again after it had been obscured by years of windblown sand).

Only a few of the tombs were looted, and the rest were well preserved. Archaeologists found that all the women buried in the boat-shaped coffins were holding wooden phalluses.

Yay, penis worship!

At the same time, in the Han Dynasty

We have (archaeologists believe) Wearable device Appeared near Shanghai (206 BC-220 AD).

Nobility and royalty certainly knew how to party.

Although, I am curious what the bronze material did to these advanced genitalia.

A Fire 28,000 years ago

A 20-centimeter-long stone “object” was found in a cave in Ulm, Germany. So far, it’s the oldest penis model they’ve been able to unearth.

After reassembling the 14-piece siltstone puzzle, they also discovered that it was likely used as flint… ignition…… Then light that fire – At least according to Professor Nicholas Conard, University of Tübingenhe insisted the markings clearly indicated its purpose.

While carving stone (or even wood) may sound a little strange, keep in mind that We have stone and wood dildos today …even though they’re expensive.

It’s also far better than past alternatives: unripe bananas, camel dung coated in resin, deer antlers, leather and human bones.

Sweden scores a goal

Although Germany Holds the record for the oldest dildo At a Mesolithic site in Motala, Sweden, they found a runner 4000-6000 years of history.

Why is this love stick so unique and not just another stone love stick found in the dirt? It is made from deer antler bone from the Stone Age.

Based on science and time, or any other factor, it is very difficult to find truly ancient organic material at an excavation site. However, The region’s unique geographical environment allows bone artifacts to be better preserved., And no one had ever found anything like it before at sites in northern Europe or Scandinavia.

Others say it’s just a knife.

“If it’s a tool and it’s shaped like a penis, then it’s probably an object you want to discuss gender issues with.” said Gruber, an archaeologist with the National Heritage Board.

Who knows, maybe our ancestors were just efficient.

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As fascinating as these discoveries are, if I were still stuck in the Stone Age of sex toys, I’d just use my hands. The splinters, rough stones, stinging bees, and questionable metal make my nether regions swell at the mere thought of them.

Also, before you go, you might want to check out this article:

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