ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) affects 366 million children and adults Globally (or as far as we know, at least there are official medical diagnoses). Whether you know it or not, you may have been friends with, or even dated, someone with this type of neurodiversity, which is thought to affect the brain’s dopamine levels and can seriously hinder a person’s memory, concentration and daily operational capabilities. A day in the life of an adult.

ADHD doesn’t present exactly the same way in everyone, and it can even appear differently between men and women. Likewise, ADHD can affect sexual desire in very different ways that don’t fit with “typical” ideas of how people with ADHD should behave.

People with ADHD are often described as having a complete inability to relax, always jumping up at the slightest distraction and making impulsive decisions, especially regarding sex and relationships. They are known to be the warm and cheerful people in the room and are often known to be promiscuous.

However, ADHD can also manifest as a need to do nothing but Relax and eliminate all desire to work, be active, or have sex. People with ADHD may frequently feel frustrated, stressed, and overwhelmed, or view orgasms as a chore rather than a reward.

When this already misunderstood mental health disorder becomes stereotyped, loving someone with ADHD becomes even more confusing. However, your ADHD partner will definitely appreciate it when you truly “get” them and the unique struggles they face every day.

If you or your partner feel like you don’t quite fit the most commonly accepted image of someone with ADHD, they may be better able to relate to one of these four lesser-known symptoms.

ADHD suppresses desire for long-term relationships

ADHD creates an “all or nothing” personality in many people. If you have a friend with ADHD, or you have ADHD yourself, you may notice that when you stumble upon a new hobby or interest, you or they real Getting into it, it’s like almost an obsession. Then all of a sudden, the interest randomly disappears, often giving way to a completely new hobby that has nothing to do with the last one.

This phenomenon may be due to the fact that people with ADHD tend to have lower dopamine levels (which is why many ADHD medications are designed to increase dopamine). Another way to think about it is that the behavioral patterns we see in people with ADHD may be the result of their constant quest for novelty to naturally increase their dopamine levels. Whether that means learning a new instrument, delving into internet research on an obscure topic, or falling in love with a new partner, the ADHD brain is easily confused by the new and exciting.

The same principle applies to sex, even though people with ADHD are still attracted to their partners and still desperately want to stay in the relationship after the initial “crush” feelings have calmed down. Although everyone goes through the “honeymoon period” (the first 6 months to 2 years of a relationship when novelty and sweet, butterfly feelings keep sexual desire high), even without ADHD, for some people with ADHD It is very difficult to maintain this state. Once they feel comfortable and stable with a long-term partner, they develop a desire for sex.

People with ADHD may find themselves suddenly bored with sex, and because of the way their brains work, they don’t really have a choice in the matter. it is no (Necessarily) they desire affairs, fall in love with others, and are even dissatisfied with their partners. Their brains are basically just telling them they need more novelty.

It’s this reason that can make bed very interesting for some people with ADHD, as they are often keen to explore and try new things. If it sounds like something that will get their brain excited about sex again, like a new sex toy, a rope bondage adventure, or acting out a fantasy, they will usually respond enthusiastically.

People with ADHD are more sensitive to discomfort, pain and sexual intensity

A somewhat confusing dichotomy is that people with ADHD tend to be overly sensitive to emotions such as praise, rejection, or stress, yet they are often touted as liking BDSM. But this doesn’t apply to everyone with ADHD. ADHD, on the other hand, sometimes has another side effect: extreme sensitivity to certain physical and sexual sensations.

Many people with ADHD say they find novelty, excitement, or a sense of release and comfort in it. BDSM practices. For some people with this neurodiversity, for example, engaging in bondage while taking on the role of a submissive partner can allow them to finally relax and stop overthinking every moment. Likewise, enjoying a sensual experience like a spanking or wearing a blindfold can help them focus during sex and add something unique beyond the same in and out.

However, for others, kinky stuff like bondage, spanking, or anal sex can overwhelm their senses in a negative way, causing overall severe discomfort, physical pain, and emotional trauma.

Some people with ADHD have extremely sensitive bodies and have difficulty with even the most mundane sexual behaviors, such as oral sex, light anal sex, or penetration. These people may also have other body sensitivities, such as not liking the feel of certain clothing fabrics against their skin or being annoyed by itchy tags on T-shirt collars.

These types of people can easily feel overwhelmed, stressed, and traumatized by sexual behaviors that may be a blessing to others. So if your ADHD partner has zero interest in kinky sex, feels pressured by the idea of kinky sex with you, or has even openly stated that he tried kinky sex with a previous partner and realized they liked it better, don’t take it personally personal. Never do this again.

Then again, ADHD doesn’t give those with the disorder much choice about what feels good and what doesn’t, and it’s rarely personal. If something doesn’t work for someone with ADHD, that’s pretty much it, forcing themselves into stressful sexual situations will only cause their overall desire for sex to diminish further.

ADHD can make it difficult to concentrate and have fun

You may have heard the old stereotype of women from the 1950s who, unable to enjoy the pleasure of their partner’s sex, began planning the week’s shopping list in their head while trying to wait patiently for their husband to climax.

However, this stereotypical woman may be perfectly capable of enjoying sex; due to ADHD, she is unable to focus on enjoying it.

ADHD and focus are the worst enemies. People with ADHD are unable to keep their brains interested in the task at hand, and they are helpless as their minds wander into daydreams and future plans, rarely on purpose. It happens at work and school, in fun social interactions, and yes, the bedroom is unfortunately no exception.

Look, even if someone has ADHD yes Enjoying something, such as talking to a friend or having foreplay with a partner, their brain may find it unable to stay in the moment. People with ADHD daydream when they are bored, and they also daydream when they are interested—without even trying, as if their brains grab an item without asking first. A jacket just like going for a walk.

If your ADHD partner suddenly starts to get bright-eyed or stops making those rapid, heavy breathing sounds during sex, stop and connect with them. Their body may still be interested, but their brain randomly decides to start thinking about the time in fourth grade when their best friend sang in the talent show, or what they would wear to a party this weekend, or how they were super stressed about just There is one roll of toilet paper left.

No matter what the reason is, try to get back to the present moment Together. First, make sure your partner isn’t distracted by trauma-related memories or things related to past sexual abuse. Then try a new position, switch from intercourse to oral sex (or vice versa), or step back and make out for a while until you both get excited again.

For people with ADHD, losing focus during sex doesn’t always mean disinterest, although it may mean they’re ready to end things, at least for now. Don’t take it personally and talk about how you both feel. They may start again later.

Additionally, if you or your partner has difficulty concentrating during sex due to ADHD, you might consider trying mindfulness practicehas been shown to have some benefits in controlling ADHD symptoms.

ADHD can make some people feel asexual (even if they’re not)

One sexual trait often associated with ADHD is hypersexuality. Many people with ADHD report that they are always horny, often craving partnered sex and masturbating. For these people, sex, even in a long-term relationship, continues to provide the dopamine their brains have been craving.

However, few people feel the opposite: low libido.

First, don’t confuse loss of libido with asexual. Asexuals never (or almost never) experience sexual desire for another person, and never or rarely see partnered sex as something they want to do, and to which they are usually consenting. Whether they have never felt the need for sexual intercourse since puberty or have tried sex with different partners as adults and realized it simply wasn’t for them, asexuality is a more stable aspect of a person’s sexual desire.

Asexuality is not a temporary decrease in sexual desire or an overall low sexual desire. Asexuality falls on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, and when someone says “I’m asexual,” it’s likely that they’re not interested in partnered sex at all and aren’t distressed by that fact.

However, some people with hypoactive sexual desire may question whether they are truly asexual from time to time, at least until they realize that their ADHD may be contributing to their lack of interest in sex. Hypoactive sexual desire is characterized by low sexual desire and sometimes other sexual difficulties (including difficulty achieving orgasm, painful intercourse, and erectile dysfunction). Loss of sexual desire can be caused by stress, depression, or medication side effects, all of which can affect people with ADHD.

Loss of sexual desire often causes worry and distress for the partner with a low libido, because they may have enjoyed frequent, satisfying sex at the beginning of the relationship, but now suddenly have lost all interest. They may also have a low sex drive to begin with but fall in love with someone high libido Partner, now they worry that they won’t be able to please their partner enough to stay faithful.

Either way, ADHD can make anything Things their brains don’t want to do—like washing the dishes, doing homework or career projects, or even having sex—feel downright impossible. So when you have ADHD and low libido, you start to wonder if you never enjoyed sex in the first place, even though you know that’s not the case.

Decreased desire and often the need for less sex to live a happy life is indeed very typical in many long-term relationships, whether or not the partner involved has ADHD. Keep in mind that your sex life will evolve and change as you get older, and this may be even more true with ADHD.

When this happens, if it becomes distressing, when sexual desire isn’t readily available, explore other ways to connect and cultivate intimacy—like sharing secrets, life goals, and laughter.

Additionally, and most importantly, if you or your partner has ADHD, remember that the most effective ways to address sexual difficulties that may arise are to (1) make sure the ADHD is well managed (talk to your doctor about this), ( 2) have empathy and understanding for each other, (3) develop solid sexual communication, and (4) remain open and flexible in their approach to exploring pleasure and intimacy together.

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