Exclusive | New York women ditch dating apps for real life

Want a hottie for your next burger? Alyssa La Spisa has this dish on her menu.

The 33-year-old Upper East Sider’s popular “Where Hot Guys Eat in Real Life” social media series — in which content creators interview attractive New Yorkers and ask them to reveal the bars and restaurants they frequent — quickly became a favorite among love-hungry, dating-app-weary Gothamites who view the street-level interview videos as a treasure map of the city’s most eligible bachelors.

“Everyone is craving that face-to-face connection right now,” Laspisa, who describes herself as single, told The Washington Post that she, like others her age, is tired of swiping left and right. “If I can help introduce someone to someone [else]or even just encourage people to go out and try one of these spots recommended by these guys and their friends – it’s awesome. “

“Where Guys Eat” debuted last year as a spin-off of La Spisa’s eponymous show “Where Guys Eat,” in which she highlighted restaurants that attract attractive customers. The idea for the original series came to her back in 2022, as she sat in the busy Jack & Charlie’s No. 118 store in the West Village and watched New York slowly come back to life after the pandemic.

“The crowd there was very engaging and I felt like people were craving that real-life connection,” Laspisa explained. “So I thought, okay, I need to tell everyone about this.”

Her popular follow-up series, which she likens to “Chicken Dates” and “Maximum” (a combination of two similar viral social media shows), finally came to fruition when Laspisa realized she wanted to “go straight to the source” — and talk to the hot guys in person.

The new series (@the_recommendista on Instagram has 76,200 followers and TikTok has 42,500 followers) has sparked an all-out frenzy – with women flooding the comments section and men DMing their photos.

“I think her account is interesting. It’s very light-hearted and gives you an idea of ​​where single men are hanging out,” Marisa Simone, 33, a follower of political ads, told The Washington Post.

The series inspired her to put down her phone and head to Port Said on King Street in lower Manhattan, one of the hottest spots. Simone revealed that she and her friends were “absolutely” entertained by a host of sexy men there.

La Spisa’s project taps into a recently resurgent interest in making real-life connections among single New Yorkers — a desire also fed by sites like LooksMapping, which rates nearly 10,000 restaurants in New York and California on a scale of 1 to 10 based on what diners call hot. (The West Village’s Carbone restaurant scored a 9.7, while the Meatpacking District’s perennially popular Pastis averaged a surprising 5.4.)

Some of the men in La Spisa’s videos even ended up going out on dates.

“From that interview, there was a huge increase in people contacting me on my Instagram or TikTok,” volunteer Hank Hoover, a 33-year-old content creator who runs the @coffeewithhank account, told The Washington Post. “I went on two or three dates that I wouldn’t have gone on otherwise.”

Eron Lutterman, 26, managing director of a branding design firm, said he didn’t mind sharing his favorite spots but wasn’t really looking for love at the time.

“There were several private messages,” the Green Point resident admitted to The Washington Post. “I’m open to the possibility, but I’m not actively looking for a date.”

in spite of. Naama Tamir is the founder and owner of East Williamsburg’s Lighthouse, a trendy Mediterranean restaurant Rutman mentioned he likes to frequent during after-get off work happy hour.

“People have mentioned [the video] When they came in – we sent a lot of people [it to] “It’s really surprising, but we’re seeing growth,” Tamir told The Washington Post.

Other men told The Washington Post that they are now happy working together, albeit not because of the show — while others said they are still waiting for the windfall.

Charles Hsu, a 24-year-old actor, comedian and writer who has appeared on Where Hot Guys Eat IRL, said that while he’s proud to be considered a “hot guy,” he hasn’t known anyone because of his appearance, although his “DMs are always open.”

Laspisa said she doesn’t track relationship success rates, but noted that she has found the overall response to the program to be “satisfactory.”

In the meantime, the Upper West Side native told The Washington Post that he will “continue to try to stay hot and eat as much as possible.”

“These people don’t really report to me,” she admits. “[But] I hear their comments like, “Oh my God, I get so many DMs!” or they’ve gone on a date. “

But ultimately, she’s happy that she’s resonating with an audience that’s clearly hungry for something more than a New York dating scene.

“I think the fact that it’s been so well-received — especially the amount of women DMing men or just replying to comments — speaks to the need for people to meet in real life. I think that’s why it resonates so much.”