38,000 people keep passion alive for a long time

This study: Satisfied couples differ in long-term relationships to keep passionate vitality

Posted in Journal of Sexual Research More than 38,000 people were surveyed in a long-term relationship for a total of three years or more.

They’re about why Some The couple managed to keep the spark burning at a rate while others watched it disappear.

Discover? In the early stages of their relationships, 83% reported being satisfied with their sex life. A few years later, these numbers fell: only 55% of women and 43% of men say the same.

But (this is important): Descent no Inevitably.

More than one-third of respondents said their sex life was as passionate as they were in the early days. And it’s not luck, it depends on doing things differently.

Seven Habits of Highly Satisfied Couple

The study found seven core behaviors that sustain people’s passion to the continuous and disappearing passion:

1. More consistent orgasm
2. More frequent oral sex (Donate and receive)
3. The overall frequency of gender is higher (The happiest couples usually have sex more frequently than those who are not very satisfied, but quality is more important than frequency)
4. Use various sexual activities (e.g. try new positions, underwear, role-playing, sex toys)
5. Set mood (Use candles, music or say “I love you”)
6. Sexual communication (Ask them what they want, praise them, and talk about fantasy together)
7. Feelings and intimacy during and after SEX (such as kissing, hugging and laughing together, which we often call “pillow talk”)

Couples who describe the last one-time experience as “playful, passionate” or “love” are more satisfied – not just because they have sex, but because of how sex is Felt.

Meanwhile, for unsatisfied couples, sex is often just another obligation, or a way to release tensions. Please know that if you are thinking, “sounds familiar”, you are not alone. There are also ways to make sex fun again and want to love sex again.

Why communication changes everything (even if you are afraid)

Talk about sex does not kill desires. The best gender is speechless, spontaneous, or “real” chemistry idea that you don’t have to speak –That It is the reason to kill passion rather than speak.

I know it can be embarrassing to talk about sex, but this is what I see week after week is couples who start talking about sex – preference, fear, what works and nothing works – usually feels closer immediately.

Even if the conversation is awkward. Even though they spent years avoiding it.

This is because emotional intimacy and gender go hand in hand. Emotional intimacy can lead to better sex life, especially when things are difficult for a long time.

Yes, the first real speech may be frightening, but it is also the key to opening the door to entertainment again. Not always immediately, but consistent. This is supported by the research and clinical experience of gender therapists.

Part of the things that succeed are about gender, except for those who meet a little bit of hay who know how to talk about sex. Using the tips in linked blog posts, you will be able to relieve your tension to make the conversation easier.

Sexual novelty works – but only if you really want it

Research has found that breeds are important. New posts, romantic resorts, massages, booked date nights, and even toys or role-playing. This may not be surprising – they are the classic way to add fun to your sex life. But the truth is that novelty only works when the foundation is in place.

If you feel disconnected, stressed, or unsafe, no lace underwear will fix this. In fact, force yourself to try new things because you think you are should– When you don’t feel it – it actually makes things worse.

But if your sex life feels old due to boredom, then be sure to play. Try something. But if the real problem is anxiety, suppression, or emotional distance, always address it first.

Otherwise, the “spice” advice ends up feeling more self-conscious. And keep you away from what you really want; desire, passion and intimacy.

Orgasm Gap: Why Women Stop Wanting to Have Sex (and How to Do)

Women (and people of all genders) do not lose their desires because they have problems. When gender stops being pleasant or worth a try, they lose their desire.

For many people, sex that is not worthy of is sex without orgasm. This is not because sexual needs include orgasm to make it pleasant, but it is an important part of pleasure for many people.

This study, as well as other studies, is also very clear: the so-called “orgasm gap” is real. In heterosexual relationships, 95% of men orgasm during gender. For women, only 65%. (This is higher among lesbian women. When women masturbate, they have as many orgasms as men.)

If you are a woman reading this and thinking: “What’s the point if I don’t like it?” – You are not alone or broken. You are responding to the reality that you have become about your sexual life and there are many ways to start making sex more ideal and climaxy.

Men will also lose their sexual behavior

For unsatisfied men, nearly half said their last sexual encounter was more like releasing tensions (a physical outlet) with only 15% satisfied men.

This tells us something important: Satisfaction also decreases when gender loses its emotional component (when it is disconnected from intimacy). When you actually look at the data, men are just unbearable thoughts after a quick orgasm.

On the other hand, unsatisfied women are more likely to say that they are just making motions or having sex to comfort their partner. About 43% of unsatisfied women say only 7% of satisfied women. That was huge.

This shows that we are, for many women, when gender becomes obligated, this is emotionally disconnected and emotionally disconnected sexual behaviors often become dissatisfied. Especially when stress is involved.

So while the reasons may differ on the surface, the two groups seem to tell us the same thing.

When gender deprives of emotional intimacy (when it is just a routine, performance, or tension release), it stops feeling satisfied even if it is still happening.

This is one of the reasons why this research is so powerful. Because it shows us that passion is not only about frequency or novelty, but about meaning and connection. This is very important.

Want your sexual desire?

My free resource Desire Test can help you take the first step to increase your sexual desire by knowing your desires are reduced.

Take a 10-page evaluation quiz to get the answers you need to know your status in the way you crave and get your inbox free sex and relationship tips straight to. You can unsubscribe at any time.

What creates sexual satisfaction in long-term couples (according to science and real life)

So, all in all, this study shows that there are several things that can give long-term passion and sexual satisfaction to couples. Here are just a few examples you can try:

How to improve sexual behavior in marriage – even if you try everything

Sometimes you do all the “right” things and things still don’t improve. Maybe you know What Do it, but don’t let yourself want it.

If it sounds like you, you will share this experience with many other couples. This doesn’t have to mean things are doomed to fail. Usually, this is because you’re not always focusing on passion or desire killers, or you’re in a deadlock.

Because it’s one thing to know that you “should” communicate differently, or that “should” be doing things. But that’s another story entirely. Because sexual behavior can be tricky, especially if you don’t have sex, or your sexual desire doesn’t match.

If you want to know how to do something different, or even be motivated to try again, my online plan is: Desire is the best place to start. Sex therapist advice tailored to your unique situation and difficulties is often the fastest place to start creating changes.

The final thoughts about long-term desire

It’s not a blessing to stay passionate in a long-term relationship (although I know that sometimes it feels!).

It’s about intention, effort, communication and connection. Sexual satisfaction among long-term couples is possible. The spark can last, but only if you are willing to create something new together, not just hope it will magically return.

Because when you put in your effort, waiting for the rewards on the other side will Feel Love magic.