Two types of pornographic drug addicts

Dr. Robert Weiss, LCSW, CSAT

Over the years, clinicians who work with porn addicts have found that most of their clients have reported potential early life trauma – physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, inappropriate emotions with caregivers (i.e., secret incest), etc. In this way, porn addicts are the same as other addicts. In fact, there is a large number of studies that tell us that the main risk factor for all types of addiction is unresolved early trauma.

However, over the past decade, therapists have encountered a new (rapidly growing) porn addict. These people are not usually always young men, but are prone to meeting the basic criteria of addiction: attention to obsession; loss of control over use (usually proven by failed attempts to quit smoking); and directly related negative consequences. But they seem to lack the usual potential trauma.

For this new porn addict, trauma won’t drive behavior. Instead, these people turn to porn because it offers more emotional vulnerability than real-world sex and romance. Their entire sex life usually revolves around pornography. They are fully focused on their obsession with pornography, they have no control over their use of porn and end up with negative consequences associated with the use of pornography. So, they are definitely porn addicts. But they are not traditional trauma-driven porn addicts.

Instead, they are what I call conditional porn addicts. Often, these people are people who have been using porn since childhood (usually before puberty) and don’t go beyond it at all. For them, porn is a sex education and sexual implementation in a fast, easy-to-access online package.

Unfortunately, because their only experience in sexuality and romance is pornography, the usual emotional and psychological development surrounding sexuality and romance is hindered. All of these people know how to connect with porn. Their ability to form meaningful real-world romantic attachments does not develop or fully develop, so they find themselves increasingly turning to porn until it becomes an addiction—even though they lack early life trauma.

Treat traditional, trauma-driven porn addicts

Traditional porn addicts are people who have experienced major early trauma such as physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, troubled, etc. Over time, usually starting from adolescence, they learn to use sexual fantasies and behaviors as coping mechanisms – as a way to escape feelings and numbness of stress, anxiety, anxiety, depression, loneliness, loneliness, etc.

These people often respond to treatments to reflect techniques and strategies related to drug abuse, eating disorders and other addictive effects. First, this treatment focuses on preventing problematic behavior. Next, the focus of treatment efforts is to undermine denials, manage crises or crises that contribute to treatment and implement strategies to prevent recurrence. Ultimately, after the addict has established a certain degree of sobriety and social support, the fundamental abuse and neglect that drives addiction can be addressed through trauma solutions.

Note: From a long-term sober and rehabilitation perspective, these addicts usually require traumatic work, but should not be done too early, as traumatic work is extremely stressful emotionally and psychologically, and can easily trigger fresh awake addicts to relapse.

Treatment conditions for porn addicts

Conditional porn addicts, because their behavior is not driven by early life trauma, therefore, require modified treatments. As mentioned earlier, these people usually start using porn early before puberty. Over time, pornography became their primary source of sexual education and sexual realization. As a result, their ability to form meaningful real-world romantic attachments has not been fully developed. Instead, they become “adapted” and “persist” porn. Ultimately, they find that they cannot be free and enter into the romance and sexual relationships in the real world, no matter how much they want.

So, how is this new category of treatment different from treatment? In the early stages of recovery, this is not the case. In the beginning, we used the same approach as traditional (trauma-driven) porn addicts, focusing on stopping porn, disrupting denials, and creating and implementing countermeasures to prevent relapse. After that, however, treatment pathways diverge.

Rather than working on early trauma like we do with traditional trauma-driven addicts, a therapeutic shift in social development, learning how to develop and maintain romantic and sexual connections in the real world.

Remember that for these people, porn is the primary source of sexual and romantic information. Therefore, they often don’t know how to successfully browse the waters of dating and sexual exploration. Forced use of porn stunts to grow in these areas, so they just don’t learn these skills. Then, suddenly, they wake up in their 20s or 30s, lonely, longing for real-world relationships and don’t know how to achieve this.

Granted, not all conditional porn addicts are completely lost when it comes to real-world relationships. In fact, some people are very skilled in society. However, most people need to go through the adolescent and early adult stages of social development to some extent, rather than trauma, which should usually be a secondary focus for this population.

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If you or a loved one is struggling with sexual, pornography, or material/sex addiction, seeking integrity can help. In addition to residential rehabilitation, we offer low-cost online workgroups for both male addicts and male porn addicts, which is a new rehabilitation. Click here for information about our Sex Addiction Working Group. Click here for information about our Porn Addiction Working Group.