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Extreme dating trends cut people instantly
Enough.
Beware of red flags when dating is one thing – but now, some daily newspapers in the digital age avoid future heartbreak by cutting off potential suitors early, as some may think it is a small thing.
“Shut off their theory” is a new trend circulating on social media, and people break up with their lover if the person can’t meet their “small needs”.
Their thinking process is that if they were like this early, things would only get worse.
In theory, this is a good mindset.
But are some people too picky?
“Last year, I saw a guy I really liked and I cut him off because he didn’t want me to fly safely,” content creator @heyphatty admitted in a viral tiktok video.
“One big thing for me is consideration and general care. I think I like someone who treats you very intentionally because I am like someone I love and familiar with,” the woman explained.
According to thousands of comments from the video, the content creator is not the only one who takes this approach when dating.
One commenter wrote: “He sent me a photo of a cookie.
“He doesn’t want me a happy birthday,” another comment had another scissor emoji indicating that she cut the guy right after ignoring her birthday.
Another shared this: “He made a cup of coffee in the kitchen in front of me and didn’t let me even provide one.”
“No, if he is inconsistent. I cut them off immediately. Has hesitated to waste time,” said another frustrated day.
Others wrote: “When he wasn’t sure I came home safely after I dated, I cut him off because my future husband would never.”
It’s important to have a high standard for yourself, especially in today’s frustrating dating world – but this zero-tolerance mentality can do more harm than good.
“this [cut them off] Theory is affecting those who are afraid of creating another abusive relationship. They don’t want to be hurt again, so seeing the hint of something because of this fear, they cut off their fears,” explains Angelika Koch, a relationship and breakup expert at Taimi.
“What they need to remember is that their perspectives may change with some positive and healthy communication, and it seems like red flags may not be the case at all, and that may be just a momentary judgment or misunderstanding.”
Koch said it is unrealistic to have zero tolerance for dating. “Everyone has something they need to work and work on. Tolerance of abuse should always be zero tolerance, not mistakes. Everyone will do it.”
If you see a certain behavior that is not too keen, Koch says “reflect on how the action affects you before you react to it.”
She added: “Once you reflect, ask your partner’s questions to make sure you have a clear understanding of what’s going on with them. Once you know their side, explain how their actions affect you and what you’re moving forward.”
