Dating experts reveal six “innocent” issues

First date says this – you may be thrown away before dessert.

Dating is difficult enough to choose the perfect outfit, find the least creepy stranger from the app and pray that they look like their profile picture.

But sometimes it’s not you or the clothes you wear that turn off your date – that’s what you say. According to sexual and relationship expert Alexa Johnston, some seemingly innocent questions are actually the beginning of the conversation of death.

Her advice? Skip the hedge, trauma dump, “What are we?” interrogation – at least until you get the appetizer.

“The first date has been disturbingly stuck in the situation of accidentally stepping on a mine of conversation,” she told the Sun. “What people often don’t realize is that no matter how innocent you look, you can send your date to the exit right away.”

Here are six questions that will make your ghost faster than you said.

1. “Why are you still single?”

While you may not expect, this question is the ultimate backhand compliment of disguise. Ask this, you basically ask, “So…what’s wrong with you?”

“This question immediately hits your date with a defensive state,” Johnston said. “It shows that they need to justify their relationship status, as if being single is a question that needs explanation.” He added that some people may feel they are being questioned, which will leave the entire date abandoned.

Instead, keep it mild. Ask them what they like – their hobbies, passions, favorite podcasts and movies – and try to avoid until at least two dates.

2. “Have you done any work?”

Don’t ask this unless you’re their dermatologist or “Botched” cast team.

You might be wondering if your date has some nip and tuck, but your curiosity will die on your second date.

“This issue puts your date in an awkward position, and they either have to admit the makeup routine or feel like you’re scrutinizing their appearance’s ‘flaws’,” Johnston explained. “Either way, it makes them feel comfortable and appreciated.”

Even if you think it’s a compliment, asking about appearances can put your date on defense and can offend them. Instead, it would be nice to offer a good word about their appearance: “You look great tonight” would be nice.

3. “How much money did you make?”

Unless you are dating their W-2, this question (and other questions about their financial status) is guaranteed to be provided to you on the date.

Before you know their middle name is a one-way ticket, come up with someone’s bank account. It screamed at the excavator. This is not only jurisdiction, but also tacky.

“Ask someone’s salary for the first time, it shows that you evaluate them based on their financial value rather than their personality,” Johnson said. “It immediately creates discomfort and indicates that you may be more interested in their bank account than in one person.”

Rather than having a sneaky salary, ask them about their enjoyment of their job or field. The passionate way is hotter than salary and is unlikely to stop you.

4. “Do you think I’m hotter than your ex?”

Nothing is faster than asking an ex on a first date, especially when it comes to comparisons involved. It’s awkward, and is actually begging for side-by-side comparisons you don’t want.

“This question is a triple threat – it shows insecurity, forcing them to think about their ex during dates and put them in an impossible position. There is actually no good answer to this question,” Johnston said. “Say yes, they say badly to people they once cared about. Say no, they just insulted you.”

Instead of digging into the romantic past, keep the conversation at the present or future goals. Focus on you and them and don’t make their first date third round.

5. “What is your body?”

Even if you long to know, ask someone’s sexual history from the door, screaming, your judgment, insecure and frankly a soldier.

“This question immediately changes the tone, from knowing someone to scrutinizing their past,” Johnston said. “It creates discomfort and suggests you judge them based on their answers. It can make people feel narrowed down to a number rather than being seen as a complex person.”

Skip the body’s number of conversations and focus on actually creating a spark: your shared interests and shared values ​​– not interrogation.

6. “How many kids do you want – when can we start?”

Yes, it’s an important conversation…final. But, before you finish the main course, do you eliminate the baby talk? This is how you turn lirty into escape.

Save family planning on the second or even third date. Discussing parents is useless when you haven’t even dated this person. Now, stick to the fun, frivolous questions.

“This question shows that you can move forward psychologically quickly by following your serious commitment directly,” she said. “It creates a huge amount of pressure to make your date feel like they are being interviewed for a parenting position rather than knowing you naturally.”